Poor Guy Arranged Marriage
by PrettyLittleGleek 4-Life
Summary: *Repost*She's dying. He doesn't know it. She's living as much as she can in her short time, and he's falling harder and harder for her every day. Love is a powerful thing, but is it enough to save a life? Or just to destroy one?
1. Chapter 1

Chapt 1

"Does he know?" I asked, emotionless. Sure, most people might be freaking out, but not me. I don't care.

"Umm.... no." His parents looked embarrassed, and only his father could speak.

"Wow. Do you hate your son that much? I mean, unless he's a complete monster, he'll be scarred for life." I was surprised that they'd keep it from him, honestly. My parents just sat in silence.

"The thing is, Randall is.... well, he's a bit of a playboy. Honestly, I don't even care that much about all that, except that he's not taking anything seriously these days and he's going to have to take over the business holdings. I informed him that he had to marry you or he'd be cut off completely." Bob, my future father in law, informed me.

"And you didn't think he should know that his future wife will be dead within the year?" Still, only silence from my parents and his mother.

"Don't take this the wrong way dear, but, I don't want my son to be stuck in a marriage of convenience. I want him to settle down a little and grow up, but I don't want him to have to spend the rest of his life pretending to love someone. When I met your father, the whole plan just seemed to fall perfectly into place. I must say though, I thought you'd.... I don't know, argue about it, or something."

I guess I should explain. My name is Lauren Angel Williams. I'm 19 years old. And I'm dying. I have a rare heart defect, and honestly it's a miracle I've lasted this long. Sure, I'm on a transplant list, except that I have an extremely rare blood type and I react poorly to nearly all immunosuppressants, meaning the chances of me getting a heart are slim and the chances of surviving the transplant are slimmer. I doubt they'd approve me for it anyway, which is better—better for a viable heart to go to someone who can actually use it.

So when Bob and Elaine appeared with this story of how I was going to marry their son to teach him a lesson, all I could do was laugh internally. On the outside, I showed no emotion. They'd agreed to pay all of my medical bills, which would have been left to me parents to bury them in debt for the rest of their lives. No thanks. It's not a big deal. I've made peace with dying.

At least they have a pool.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapt 2

"Why didn't Randall come today?" My mother spoke for the first time. Our family was a sad one—both literally and figuratively. My parents had accepted that I'd accepted my eminent death, but it killed them. I was all they had. They were basically dead already. I wanted to get out of the house, and go die in peace away from their heartbreak. I feel guilty for that actually, but I'm just too tired to try to care.

"He's an asshole." Bob said plainly. It made me smile.

We sat in awkward almost silence for a few minutes, and I got tired of it. "Can we get going?" Bob and Elaine nodded and stood. My parents stood as well and I hugged them.

"We'll take your things to the car." Bob said. Elaine was already walking out. I guess she wasn't comfortable with death. Granted, I'm not dead yet, but like I said our house just feels like a funeral all the time. Depressing. I hugged my parents and they both teared up. I was basically the walking dead to them, and every second they had to look at me was hard for them. It was plain as day, looking at me made them ache. I hugged them again and left.

The Ortons had a large black SUV. Not a limo like you read about in normal arranged marriage stories. Bart opened the back door for me, and I smiled at him as I climbed in. The drive was quiet, but I didn't feel awkward. They did.

"So, Randall doesn't know. Am I supposed to keep it a secret? I don't mind, just asking." I had to break the silence, for their sakes.

"Yes, if you don't mind. You'll be married in 5 months. Then, I guess it's up to you. Don't get offended if he.... well, he's hard-headed." It was the first time I heard Elaine speak.

"You don't have to worry about offending me, you know. I don't get offended. I'm not shy about anything either. I don't expect your son to love me, or even to like me really. I don't care if he keeps his whores or whatever." Yeah, I'm pretty blunt. Bob laughed.

"I knew I was going to like you." He chuckled.

"Just don't get too attached." I said with a smile. His laughter ended abruptly. "Sorry. I forget it's not normal to be ready to die."

"Don't you want to live? To enjoy life and do all the things that someone should be able to do with their lives?" Elaine asked incredulously.

"Like what? Get married? It's on my list. Look, I'd love to do something amazing with my life. Meet the man of my dreams and have a real wedding and cry and eat cake and be in love, but the truth is I don't have time for that. I don't have time to live in the future. I only have now. So I'm okay with that. It's easy to accept it when you've been told your whole life you only have 6 months to a year to live. You're grooming you son to grow up and take over the business, in what? like 5 or 10 years? I've only ever had, at absolute most, one year. It's liberating, in a way. Don't be sad for me, please. I get to live every day like it's my last—everyone says they do that, but I really do. I'm completely free."

They didn't seem to understand, but I didn't expect them to. We drove for about 2 hours, and I just watched the blur of colors as we passed. The car stopped in front of a large white house with a porch that wrapped all around it. It looked like something from 'Gone With the Wind.' It was beautiful. Bob grabbed my stuff for me and I followed him and Elaine into the house and up the stairs.

"This is your room. Umm... we'll give you some time to settle in." Bob gave me an awkward half hug and I tried not to laugh. It's not funny. Or, it wouldn't be funny to a normal person—how sad they are when they look at me. At least Randall won't look at me like that. He may hate me, but he won't pity me.

I started to unpack, listening to my iPod and not thinking about anything except how poorly I'd folded my t-shirts. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I shrieked.

"Sorry. I knocked..." Randall, presumably.

"Oh, sorry. I guess I shouldn't have had the volume so loud. You're Randall?"

"Call me Randy. What are you listening to?"

"Oh,umm... Airborne Toxic Event and Skillet." I actually took notice of him as he sat on the edge of the bed. It made me giggle.

"What? What's funny?" He looked like he didn't think anything was funny at all, which made me giggle more.

"Nothing. I mean, I should have expected you to be hot, they said you're a playboy, but it's still surprising." I giggled again when he blushed.

"My parents told you I'm a playboy? Great. I'm supposed to hang out with you and get to know you. Hope you don't mind."

"You're more shy than I would have expected." I said as I continued to unpack. "I'm not judging. Sorry, I pretty much just say whatever I'm thinking. I don't really have a filter. Blunt, that's me."

"That's good. So, I'll be blunt with you then. I'm not a huge fan of this marriage thing."

"I understand. And, to be completely honest with you, I just don't care either way." Okay, so I'm not being _completely_ honest. "I don't care if you keep all your girlfriends or whatever. I don't care if you never spend time with me. It doesn't matter to me. I don't get offended."

"You don't care if your husband sleeps with other women? That's... weird."

"I'm a weird person. And I'm bored. Let's go outside."

"It's a hundred degrees outside."

"Okay. Pool it is." I dug into one of the still packed suitcases and pulled out a bikini.

"Fuck."

"What?" I was slightly alarmed by his outburst.

"Umm... nothing. I'll leave you alone to change...."

"Wait, can you just.... tie this?" I pulled my shirt off and turned around to remove my bra to let him tie the strings. I had to stifle the giggles that resulted from his expression. This was actually going to be fun. Messing with a playboy.

"Umm... You're... wow..."

"Inhibitions are a waste of time husband dear. But you seem to have some issues... I'm about to put on the rest of it, so if you need to leave..." He mumbled something and left quickly. I burst into a fit of laughter as soon as he closed the door. I put on the bottom part of the tiny green bikini and went into the attached bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. Not bad. I put my hair in a high ponytail, huffing when the light blonde framing my face fell out of the elastic band. Whatever. I put on a short yellow dress and flip flops, grabbed my iPod and walked out of my room, nearly running into Randy.

"Wow. Don't you look cute." I said when I saw his navy board shorts and his perfectly tanned body. Of course. I giggled at his blush again.

"Stop doing that!" He snapped, clearly frustrated. I raised an eyebrow. "Sorry. I don't blush. It's annoying that you keep doing that."

"I'm not the one blushing, you are. Lead the way." I smiled sweetly and he rolled his eyes. We went out to the pool in the backyard. It overlooked a lake, and the view was breathtaking. This is why I don't care if he spends his time with his whores—I have this perfectly tranquil place to die in. Perfection.

"Here." He handed me a towel, which presumably came from the pool house.

"Thanks." I set it down on a lounge chair and pulled off the dress. I didn't bother to look at him but I heard him mutter something under his breath. I dove into the pool and shivered as I came up for air. The water was colder than I imagined. Randy just sat in a chair and watched me. Weird. I climbed out, spread the towel out, and laid down on my stomach to let the sun warm my back.

"You should put some sunscreen on. You're going to get skin cancer." I actually laughed out loud at him. "What?"

"Nothing. Thank you for your concern. But if you wanted to put your hands all over me, all you had to do was ask." I winked and he blushed again. I giggled. This boy was going to be very good for me. I never laughed so much as I have since I met him.

"I didn't... I mean... God stop doing that!" He huffed and I giggled again.

"Fine. Randy dear, do you mind putting sunscreen on my back for me?" I smiled sweetly.

"Fine." He grabbed the lotion and squeezed in onto my back. I winced slightly at the coldness of it. "Sorry." He rubbed it all over my back and shoulders slowly. His hands felt good. I closed my eyes and moaned slightly. He jerked his hands away.

"Sorry." I muttered, not opening my eyes.

"Umm... it's fine.... Uhh, here." He gently wiped his hands on my cheek and neck. I turned me head and he did the same on my other cheek.

"Thank you." I was falling asleep. I heard a splash but I didn't look. I figured out he was swimming laps, and I glanced up at him. God he's hot. I laughed again, out loud.

"Stop laughing at me." He sounded like a petulant child. "Wanna go out with my friends tonight?"

That caught me by surprise. "Sure. I guess. You're not... I don't know, embarrassed, or whatever?"

"Nope. They know. They weren't even surprised actually. Maryse on the other hand...."

"Girlfriend?"

"Not exactly."

"Fuck buddy?"

"Pretty much." I smiled and so did he.

I rolled over onto my back and sighed. I love the feel of the sun. "Do you want to put more sunscreen on me?" I smiled. I felt the sun disappear and water dropped onto me. I opened my eyes and Colton was standing over me with a grin on his face. He looked like he was thinking of something devious. I just smiled.

"Sure!" He grabbed the lotion bottle and I closed my eyes. I felt a line of cold up my leg and I shivered. There was also a pool of cold on my stomach but it felt good. I felt his warm hands and I moaned again. He moved his hands slowly up my body, playing with the side strings of the bikini. I was enjoying the feel of his hands on me when the sun disappeared again and his lips crashed into mine. I felt his lips forming a smirk and I knotted my fingers in his wet brown hair, several shades darker than the normal dark blonde dry hair. We kissed for a few moments, and he pulled away. I opened one eye and giggled at his expression.

"You thought I'd complain about kissing a hot guy?" I asked with a smirk.

"Well.... I mean... hmmm.... when you put it like that.... You're really weird."

"My name's Lauren, in case you didn't call me Angel." I smiled and settled back to feel to sun.

"I know. This is boring. Come swim with me."

"Have you ever had sex in that pool?" I asked after I sat up. His eyes widened and I smiled. Yep, he's a fun little toy.

"No that's sick. My parents use this pool! Not to mention the entire neighborhood can see the pool from the lake."

I dove in and swam to the edge. "It was just a question, not a suggestion."

"So you'll kiss a hot guy but you won't have sex with him?" His eye twinkled and I smiled.

"I didn't say that, did I? Are we swimming or can I go back to tanning?" He jumped in and we spent the afternoon playing in the pool. He tossed me around like a rag doll, laughing at how easy it was.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapt 3.

Bob and Elaine were surprised when they saw me leaving with Randy to go out. They didn't say anything, but I waved as we walked past them. This family is so strange. I smiled to myself. At least they're not all dead inside.

"So, your friends know you have to marry me?" He'd already answered that question, of course, but I was bored with the silence in the car.

"Yep."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Nope." Great. I sighed and grabbed my iPod from my purse and stuck the ear buds in my ears. It's not that I have a problem with silence exactly, but I'm bored. I'd rather be in the pool than sitting in this silent boring car.

"Hello?" Randy yanked one of the ear buds out. "I asked you if you always have your iPod with you." I pulled out the other ear bud and turned the iPod off.

"Yes. I didn't mean to be rude. I'm just bored with the silence. I have a fairly short attention span, and you're not talking."

"What would you like to talk about?"

"Well, I don't know anything about you. So tell me something I don't know." I smiled and he raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Umm.... I hate Twilight. I play golf and the guitar. I used to play the saxophone. I've never had a girlfriend. My middle name is Keith. I prefer hard liquor to beer. I'm an oldest child. It annoys me that my parents think I'm an idiot…"

"They don't." I interrupted.

"What?"

"They don't think that. Well, your dad doesn't anyway. He really wants you to have a happy life."

"No offense to you or anything, but how exactly am I supposed to have a happy life when I'm stuck in a marriage that I don't want to be in?" He didn't sound angry, just annoyed. I shrugged. "Tell me something I don't know about you."

"I've never had an alcoholic drink. Or a girlfriend." I smiled.

"You've never had alcohol before? Hmm..." His face went from surprised to devious. "Well we'll just have to change that won't we? Umm... my friends may be... obnoxious. Don't take it personally." He parked in front of a big gray building with a line of people out the front door. I sat in the car and he came and opened the door for me. I smiled and he grabbed my hand. We walked to the front door, he talked to the bouncer, and we walked in. I guess he's somebody. Whatever. We walked upstairs to a private area with a large booth full of people.

"Randy, wha... holy hell that's her?" I raised an eyebrow at the boy with the red hair that was gawking at me. Randy's hand tightened around mine and I raised an eyebrow at him too.

"Geezus Christ Ted. Manners! Ignore him, he's an idiot." Another boy said. He had a shaved head and bright blue eyes. I say boy, but they're all men I guess. And tall. All very tall.

"Angel, that idiot is Ted, this is Chris, Mike, John, Kofi, Ashley, Maria, and Mickie. Everyone, this is Angel." They all did the usual 'nice to meet yous' and all that. I smiled as warmly as I could. I was suddenly uncomfortable. Possibly because the girl he identified as Ashley was glaring death daggers at me. "Umm... we'll be back." Randy jerked me away from the crowd as he walked toward the bar, and I nearly lost my balance.

"Umm, when we get back remind me to let you try to walk in 4 inch heels." I smiled. He still hadn't let go of my hand.

"Oh. Sorry. I need a drink. I had to get away from them. Sorry about Ash, she's pretty much just a bitch."

"She's hot though. I understand her appeal."

"God you're weird. Let's drink." He ordered something from the bartender, but I wasn't listening to what it was. Turns out, my first alcoholic drink.... body shots.

"You wanna pour salt on me? That sounds... gross." I was completely confused by the entire process, which he'd tried to explain three times already.

"Okay, I'll do it first so you can see what I'm talking about. Put this in your mouth." He crammed a piece of lime in my mouth, with the rind toward the inside of my mouth. Then he licked my neck, very slowly. I shuddered and he smirked. He sprinkled salt onto my neck, licked the salt off, took a shot of a light-colored liquor, then kissed me and ate the lime. I smirked. "See? It's not rocket science. Your turn."

I pulled him close and started kissing his neck. He groaned a little and I smirked again. I pulled away and poured salt on his neck where I'd kissed him. He crammed a piece of lime in his mouth and I did the whole thing as he'd done to me. Honestly, I could do without the tequila. Yuck. But kissing him was fun.

We did it again, at the same time this time.

"Wow. At least your new girlfriend isn't a prude." We both turned to the direction of the high-pitched nasally voice. Ashley.

"I'm not exactly his girlfriend." I said with a smile.

"No you're just a money-grubbing whore." Randy stiffened slightly when she narrowed her eyes and insulted me with what, I assumed, was a self-description.

"Well, I'm not after his money actually, so by definition that means I'm not a whore, but that doesn't mean I'm not using him for sex. That was the arrangement you had with him, wasn't it? So sorry he's upgraded." I smiled sweetly again and she looked like she was going to explode. Randy stifled a laugh.

"Ash, just go away. Fuck." He turned back to the bartender to get another round. I wiggled my fingers at her and she stormed off.

"Sorry for being rude to your.... umm, friend." I shrugged.

"You did me a favor. I've been trying to get rid of her forever."

"I'm not complaining, but are we going to avoid your friends all night?"

"Yes. If we can." He didn't elaborate and I didn't press.

By the end of the night, I was completely drunk. I have no idea how drunk he was. We'd started sitting with his friends toward the end, but I honestly couldn't tell you what was discussed. I'm pretty sure Randy and I were making-out while his friends just chattered on about something. But I couldn't swear to it. I don't really remember the drive home, or even walking up the stairs. I vaguely remember giggling as he stumbled us up the stairs. Hmm.

"Drink this. You'll thank me in the morning. You drank a fuckload. Are you sure you never drank before?" Randy was talking really loud. It made me giggle. He handed me a glass of water and I chugged it. I was actually really thirsty.

"Can you get me some more please?" It sounded perfectly clear in my mind, though admittedly I had to process it slower than I normally would, but it probably came out in a slur. He understood enough to get me another glass full. "Thanks."

"Welcome. You're okay?" I nodded as I chugged the second glass. "I'll see you in the morning then. Actually, it'll probably be afternoon before I see you." He smiled a crooked smile and headed toward the door, slowly. He wasn't exactly walking in a straight line. How the hell did he drive home?

"Rand... can you stay with me?"

"Umm.... you want me to sleep with you? I don't think that's a good idea. You're drunk."

"So are you. I just want you to sleep with me. Not have sex. But it's okay if you don't want to. Can you do the zipper please?" I'd tried to twist my arm around to unzip the dress, but it wasn't working. I'd zipped it up by myself, but I was sober then. Apparently, I'm less flexible when I'm intoxicated. He sighed. "Nevermind. Goodnight." I stood up and had to hold on to the bed to steady myself. I giggled. This is funnier than any movie I've ever seen. I twisted my arm again and huffed. Crap.

"Here let me help you." He sighed again and I frowned.

"No! You can go to bed. Sorry for buggering you." I tried to smile but my face felt weird. I gave up trying to smile. I kicked off my shoes, nearly falling in the process. How'd I keep them on up the stairs?

"Angel be quiet, I'll help you with the zipper. Christ." He was annoyed, which was cute, and it made me giggle.

"You're hot when you're annoyed."

"You're drunk."

"Doesn't change the facts now does it. Thank you." He'd unzipped my dress all the way down. I didn't comment on how good his hands felt. Apparently being drunk also makes me horny.

"You're welcome. Do you need help with your pajamas or something?"

"I don't wear them. Too hot." I pulled the blanket back and flung myself back onto the bed. "Ugh."

"You're sleeping in your underwear?" He sounded incredulous to my drunk ears.

"Oh, yeah. You're right. Thanks." I took off my bra and flung it on the floor.

"God."

"I don't want to have sex with you. I just like the way your hands feel on my skin. But can you turn that light off please? Thank you for a fun night. I'm not sure I like tequila." He chuckled.

"That's weird. You certainly drank a lot of it." He chuckled again and turned the lamp off. He leaned down and kissed the small of my back, and I moaned. "Don't do that."

"Then don't kiss me. I just told you I like your hands on me, what the fuck do you think your lips feel like? Goodnight!" I huffed and turned me head away. I was asleep before the door closed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapt 4.

Randy is a liar. He said I'd thank him in the morning, and I am certainly NOT thanking him. I'm cursing him extremely quietly in my head, because the yelling, even in my head, is very very bad.

Tequila is bad. Very very bad. And I may never ingest salt again ever. That would be good for my heart, if I was actually going to live long enough for it to matter.

I was proud of myself for not puking. But part of me wondered if it would be better if I did. I've never felt so sick in my life, which coming from me is saying a lot.

There was a light knock on the door, but it sounded like a freight train was banging. "God come in just be quiet about it!" I yelled. Mistake. Ouch.

"Sorry. I brought you some.... oh geezus....." Randy was wearing just black pajama pants and I couldn't be bothered to look to see what he was bringing me or what made him stop mid-thought.

"What's your problem?" I whispered. Better. Whispering is better than yelling.

"I don't have a problem! I came to be nice!" He snapped. Not a whisper.

"Ouch! Shhh! I meant, why'd you stop midsentence? Is something wrong?" I whispered again. Yes, confirmation. Whispers are better.

"You're... you know... naked." He sounded nervous. I giggled. I imagined he was blushing, which made me giggle more.

"I am not. See?" I pointed to the black lacy boy shorts I was wearing. He made a sound that didn't sound like he was amused. "Fine." I flopped over onto my stomach and groaned. Rapidly flipping over is worse than yelling.

"Angel, geezus. You need to get in the shower. You'll feel better. I promise."

"You also promised I'd thank you in the morning for the water, and I'm not feeling very thankful. Mostly I just feel nauseous."

"Well between the two of us, who do you think has had more experience with hangovers?" I grimaced, not that he could see my face hanging over the edge of the bed. How exactly did I end up sleeping the wrong way in the bed, I wonder? "Exactly. Come on, get in the shower."

"No."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because if I stand up the world spins the wrong direction, and I like the normal world spinning direction."

"Geezus. Let me help you." He sounded less than thrilled to be wasting his time being nice to me at all.

"No! You might shock yourself to death. I mean, I have to be naked to have a shower. I wouldn't want to scare you." I giggled. He's obviously slept with plenty of girls, so it's illogical for him to be shocked by nakedness. Maybe he really is freaked out by my body— I am pretty boney and pale.

"Shut up. I think I can handle it, if you can." I heard a chuckle and it made me giggle. He's so cute when he's trying to out-play me. I heard him walk into the bathroom and turn the shower on. Then he came back to the foot of the bed, where I was laying across it. He gently rolled me over back onto my back and picked me up like a limp bride. I buried my face into his chest.

"You're warm. It's so cold in here." I mumbled. He didn't respond. Maybe he didn't hear me. He tried to stand me up, but I couldn't stay vertical for a second without him.

"You owe me so much for this." He sighed and I grimaced. I was about to complain, but he picked me back up and stepped into the shower. The water was warm and it felt good. Wait, is he still holding me?

"Just put me down. I won't drown, and if I do you're saved from marrying a stranger." I tried to smile but I felt like crap. He sat down in the bottom of the shower, holding me in his lap. He gently ran his fingers through my hair as my head rested against his chest.

"You look so helpless and breakable." He whispered. I don't think I was meant to hear it, but I did, and it pissed me off.

"I am not helpless!" I pushed away from him with strength that I had no idea I had that morning.

"Obviously you are or you'd be able to shower by yourself!" He yelled back at me. I rolled my eyes.

I took a breath to calm myself before speaking. "Thank you for helping me. I'm not helpless anymore. Go away."

"You're just being a bitch because I refused to sleep with you last night!" His tone was full of annoyance and venom.

"Randy, please just get out. You're right. I'm sorry for being a bitch. And I promise I'll never ask you to put your hands on me again." I said quietly. I closed my eyes and hung my head down to let the water run through my hair and massage my head. He didn't say anything. He just climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his wet body. I sat in the shower til the water turned cold, then I got out and got dressed.

Huh. He was right. I do feel better. I wonder why? Doesn't matter. I wandered down to the kitchen and looked through the cabinets and the fridge. I had no idea what the best thing to eat would be, considering I was completely starving and also completely nauseated. I settled on an apple, which I took outside to eat by the pool. I took my shoes off and stuck my feet in the water. It was cold, but it felt good.

Randy's a nice guy. I feel guilty not telling him the truth, but that's how his parents want it. Maybe I should just stay away from him as much as possible. I mean, it's supremely entertaining to toy with him, and he doesn't seem to mind, but he probably would if he knew I was dying. Then again, he has his whole life to get over whatever damage I do while I'm here, and I have a very limited time to make up for the non-living I've been doing for 19 years. Dilemma.

"Angel?" Speak of the devil.

"Who else would it be?"

"God tequila makes you be a total bitch!"

"I don't think we can exactly blame the alcohol." I smiled, but my back was turned to him.

"I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. Whatever. I'm leaving. Mom and Dad left this morning for some trip. I don't know where. Don't die while I'm gone." I giggled. The irony of that was too funny not to.

"No promises. Do I need to wait for you for dinner?" Still not looking at him.

"Nope. Do whatever you want. My mom's car is in the garage, keys are by the door. Call me if you get lost. I'll leave my number on the fridge." Then he left.

I spent the day doing absolutely nothing. Normal people in my situation would text friends to complain about how unfair their parents had been, and how obnoxious the guy is even though he's hot. I don't have any friends really. Most people don't want to be friends with someone who's going to be dead within a year. On the plus side, I did graduate high school early, and I finished a college degree early. Not that it matters.

I finally decided I was ready to eat. I went to the kitchen and dug around to find something to cook. I love to cook. I made enchiladas, which makes a ton of food, but whatever. It was dark when Randy came in from wherever he'd gone.

"Umm... hey."

I glanced up from the magazine I was reading. "Hey hunnie, I'm so glad you're home." I giggled lightly and went back to reading about what guys really think of lingerie. Idiots.

"Whatever. God you're a bitch." Randy mumbled. "What is that smell?"

"I made dinner. Help yourself, it should still be warm."

"You cooked?" He sounded not just surprised, but totally shocked.

"Yes. Why?"

"Nothing. Just didn't know you cook. Smells good."

"Thanks. It's just enchiladas. I'm going upstairs. Come get me when you're done and I'll come put everything away. Have a good night." I got up and started walking out of the kitchen, still reading the same lame article.

"Hey...."

"Yep?" I looked up from the magazine and actually looked at him for the first time. He looked like he'd been playing some sort of sport all day.

"Some of my friends are coming over tonight to hang out. It might get loud down here."

"Oh that's fine. I can sleep through anything. They're welcome to the food, but I'm not sure it's enough for a bunch of people. I should clean up in here before they come anyway. Did you get what you want?" I was talking about the dinner I made, of course, but he chuckled.

"No, I certainly didn't get what I wanted. But I got enough food." He smirked. I just smiled slightly. I've decided to give up with the playing. It doesn't seem fair to him. He may think it's fun, but he doesn't know what he's been thrown into. Most people don't handle death well. What 20 year old wants to be labeled a widower? Sad.

I cleaned up the kitchen while Randy sat at the breakfast bar and ate, watching everything I did with keen interest. He was obviously trying to figure out something, but I didn't know what.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked as I was about to leave. I heard the doorbell before he responded. "Finish eating. I'll get it." I smiled and he looked confused. He didn't argue. I went to the door and a few of the guys from last night were there.

"Hey Angel, hanging out with us?" I'm awful with names. Redhead. Whatever.

"Oh, no, just answering the door. Randy's in the kitchen. Have a good night." I smiled and closed the door as they came in.

"You should stay. We're just hanging out." Brown hair.

"No thanks. See you guys later." I went up the stairs and stuck my ear buds in my ear. I stripped and put on a tiny pair of shorts and tank top, in case Randy needs me for some reason so he doesn't freak out that I'm naked. I turned the lights off and plopped on top of the blankets. Tooooo hot.

"See assholes!" I heard a whisper yell and I grumbled. "You saw her. Now get out."

"So she was like that, but naked, and you refused to sleep with her? You're an idiot." Another poor attempt at a whisper.

"Can you guys please learn to whisper? God. Just come in if you're so curious. But be quiet." I grumbled loud enough for them to hear me and shut up.

"Sorry. We're leaving." Whatever. I fell back to sleep without caring who said what. It's like living with kids.

"Angel?" Geezus Christ what is with everyone waking me up?

"What time is it?" I groaned.

"It's late. I just.... Can I sleep with you?" You've got to be kidding.

"Can you do it quietly?" I mumbled. He chuckled. Idiot. He climbed into bed and put his arm around my waist.

"God, you're freezing cold!" He pulled himself closer to me, so that his entire body was pressed against the back of mine. He was warm. He kissed my neck and I moaned slightly. Automatic response.

"Stop Randy."

"Why?"

"Because you don't want to do this with me. Just call your whore or something."

"I don't want her."

"Well you don't want me. Now be quiet and go to sleep, or get out."

I woke up cuddled up to his chest with my leg on top of his body. Ugh. What the fuck. Wait, didn't I go to sleep with clothes on?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapt 5.

I'm pretty sure I purposely slept in clothes. Yet here I am, obviously NOT in clothes. And it's so hot. Maybe that's because I'm lying on top of a heater. I know I'm the one that's dying, but surely it can't be normal for a human being to be this hot. Literally hot, as in his body temperature is too high; not figuratively hot, as in his body makes me want to lick it. He's that hot too. But it's the first hot that's making me suddenly uncomfortable. Yuck.

I rolled off of my future husband and smiled when my bare skin hit the cool sheets on the side of the bed that had obviously not been used during the night.

"No come back." He's even cute when he mumbles. I didn't move though. The sheet felt nice. He rolled over and put his head on my upper back and his hand rested lightly on the small of my back above the stupid tattoo. Seriously. What was I thinking? A cat's face? Not even the face, just the facial features-- eyes, nose mouth. Weird. Although the bright green eyes look pretty good on my pale skin.

"You're hotttt." I whined. He misunderstood which version of hot I was complaining about. I felt him smirk against my skin. I give up. I reached up and moved all of my hair off of my back and neck so at least the breeze from the fan would help. He misunderstood that too, and he kissed my neck. "Stop Randy."

"Why? You just said you think I'm hot." He kissed me again and I held in the moan that wanted to come out.

"Yes, I did. As in, I feel like I'm sleeping with an electric blanket. I must have taken my clothes off in my sleep. Are you ill?"

"God you really are a fucking bitch. Yesterday you were clinging to me because you were so fucking cold. Now you're complaining about it? Maybe you need to regulate your fucking bipolar meds." He pushed himself away from me and the first thing I noticed was the cool air clinging to the sweat on my skin. Then it registered what he'd said. I'm pretty much tired of being called a bitch.

"Yes, I am a fucking bitch. I'm the fucking bitch that you begged to sleep with last night. Just get the fuck out." I huffed. He didn't move. I rolled over to see him lying on his back, hand behind his head, smirking.

"No, I don't think I will get out just yet." His smirk grew. Fine. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to shower. I took the coldest shower I could stomach. It felt really good. Refreshing. I was lost in thought, letting the cold water rush past my face. I didn't notice the curtain move or him step into the shower with me, so it scared the shit out of me when he screamed in my ear.

"Holy Christ it's fucking cold! Why are you in a cold shower?!" He pulled me back toward him so he was touching me but not standing in the stream of the showerhead.

"I told you I was hot. What the fuck are you doing in here?!" I snapped, as soon as I managed to breathe again. His hot body pressed against mine was a stark contrast to the popsicle-like quality my body had taken on.

"I wanted to see you naked." He smirked. I pushed myself away from him so I was standing in the cold water. It didn't feel as good now.

"Oh really, didn't want to show your friends? Maybe you should just take a picture, it would make it easier for you. Me too, actually. Just laminate it and it won't matter if you make a mess on it—easy clean up." I rolled my eyes and turned back to get lost in the water again. He got closer to me and kissed my neck. "Okay I've had enough Colton! GET OUT!"

"You are seriously a bitch. But fine." He got out of the shower and left. Whatever. At least he won't need a cold shower now. I got out of the shower and put on a bikini. I put on a little dress and flip-flops and went out to the pool. I know you're not supposed to swim alone or whatever, but no one else was around. I stripped to the bikini and dove in. Then I climbed out and went to relax in the sun. I don't care if I burn. The sun feels amazing and I want to soak up as much of it as I can.

"Randyyyyyyyy. There's a thing out here." I groaned slightly when I realized I was the thing the whiney voice was complaining about.

"Just ignore her. She's nothing." He said. I wondered if he meant that to hurt me. Then I wondered if he'd succeeded. Before I could try to debate within myself, the pool area was full of people. I sighed. So much for relaxation.

"But that's the chair I always use. It's the only one that can hold us both." The whiney voice said, this time adding a hint of seduction to the whine. I smiled.

"Well we wouldn't want to make you change your old habits dear. Here you go. I was just leaving anyway." I smiled my sweetest smile and tilted my head slightly to make it more believable. She huffed.

"Of course you were just leaving. Loser." Whiney girl added some hate that time. Interesting. I paused, trying to determine the best way to make Whiney Girl lose her shit. Got it.

I stood up and walked over to where Randy was playing with the stereo system. He looked at me slightly surprised when my shadow blocked the sun from his face, and he stood up. He opened his mouth, probably to make some smartass comment, and I smiled. I glanced to make sure Whiney Girl was looking, and of course she was glaring death daggers at me, and I kissed him. I put my arms around his neck and stuck my tongue in his mouth. He instantly hugged me closer and deepened the kiss. His hands were dangerously close to untying the strings of the bikini, and I was pretty close to not caring. Then he stopped and pulled back. He had a drunk-looking grin on his face. I kissed him again quickly on the lips once. "I'm going out for a while. Don't forget your sunscreen lover." I winked and walked back to gather my stuff. He was smirking at me when I walked past him to go back to the house.

So much for feeling guilty for playing him.

I took a shower to wash off the sunscreen and sweat. I dressed in shorts and a tank top and my favorite flip-flops. I ran into someone downstairs in the kitchen. Literally.

"Oh I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention." I looked at the person I'd run into. Brown hair but he didn't look familiar.

"It's okay. You're Lauren? I'm Phil." He looked like he could be a hot topic model. I smiled. Randy has no ugly friends. This one had facial piercings though, which I couldn't help staring at. Facial piercings fascinated me, but I've always been too chicken shit to get one. Huge ass needles? I guess I shouldn't care, all things considered. "Is something wrong?" He asked when I didn't stop staring.

"Oh, no. Sorry. I'm not normally so rude." I smiled slightly.

"It's okay. I'm used to it. People think I'm a freak." He chuckled, obviously amused.

"I don't think you're a freak. I'm jealous. I've always wanted a piercing, but the needles freak me out."

"You have a tattoo. That requires needles." Really? You're kidding! Moron.

"Yeah but tattoo needles are tiny. Not the size of freaking pencils!" I shuddered slightly.

"Well if you decide you're not a baby, let me know. I know a good place." I noticed a silver ball in his mouth. Tongue piercing. Oh how fun. I smirked.

"How long have you had your tongue pierced?" I asked sweetly.

"Umm.... I dunno, couple years... why?"

"No reason. So you're Randy's friend?" I couldn't exactly drag this poor innocent bystander into our little war if he was one of my fiancé's BFFs. Right?

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, I've known him forever. He's kind of a dick, but I guess we're friends." Strange. Not the response I was expecting.

"Why are you here then, if you're not really his friend?"

"Oh, well I heard... well... " He looked uncomfortable, which confused me more.

"He came to see you Princess. Isn't that right Punk?" Randy had a cocky grin on his face. Smug little shit. Phil didn't seem to enjoy Randy's company at all, and I couldn't stop thinking of the tongue ring.... so I kissed him. I wanted to know what it felt like, the metal bar and all that. It was pretty fucking hot, actually. "Oh my God! Angel what the fuck?!"

"I just wanted to know what the tongue piercing felt like. God." I blurted out. Oops. Well I guess honesty works for some people, so why not try it myself.

"You put your tongue in his mouth?! You fucking whore!" Randy yelled at me. It actually bothered me.

"Takes one to know one Randy. Anytime you want to do that again Lauren, call me." Phil kissed me again and smirked at Randy as he walked back outside.

"I can't believe you fucking did that! In case you forgot, you're engaged!" He yelled. He was towering over me and I cringed away from the volume in his voice. He sounded really angry. "God, what the fuck were you thinking? You stupid bitch!" Before I could process my actions, I slapped him.

"Tell ya what, have your mother tell me where and when we're getting married, and I'll motherfucking see you then. Don't talk to me again until that day." I grabbed the keys to his mom's car and left. I know it shouldn't matter, but it irks me when he calls me a bitch. I understand why he's upset, but I'm just done being called a bitch. Not by him. It actually hurts when he says it.

I've been dying for 19 years, and now I've finally found someone that makes me feel alive. The downside of feeling alive, though, is feeling everything that comes with being alive. I think I prefer dead to hurt.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapt 6.

Where the hell am I supposed to go? I drove away from the house, not bothering to pay attention to where I was going, so I'm pretty much lost now anyway, but I have nowhere to go, and no one to give a shit where I am.

I laughed to myself, sitting in the car parked in front of a playground. No one gives a shit where I am. That actually makes me feel better. It isn't true, but it makes me feel better. My parents love me more than anything, more than life. Which is what makes it so much better for me to be away from them. They can't live as long as they're waiting for me to die. I can't imagine having to wait for your child to die. To get out of bed every morning, holding your breath to see if she's died in her sleep during the night. The only 'date night' being nights when your child is in the hospital and visiting hours are over. For 19 years. What a complete non-life. I'm sure they're worried about me, but it's definitely better for them to be away from me. If I call them, they'll be relieved to hear my voice, but any 'moving on' they managed to do so far will be erased instantly. No, I can't do that to them.

So here I am. Wherever here is. I got out of the car and went to the swings. I've always loved swinging. The way you feel like you're flying. Free. Like there aren't strings tying you down to earth. The playground's empty anyway, so why not? I sat in the swing and got completely lost in flight. It wasn't long before darkness started creeping toward me like a villain. Jerk. I hopped out of the swing and went back to the car. Now what?

I sat in the car without starting it, just staring into space. I looked at my phone to check the time, and I had several missed calls from a number I didn't recognize. I checked the voicemail.

"Angel it's Randy. Where the fuck are you?" Delete.

"It's me again, get your ass back here!" Delete.

"Okay you've been gone for hours and you have no idea where you are. Seriously, call me back." Delete.

"Babe, I'm getting a little worried now. Please come home. Call me." Awww, that's cute. Delete.

"Angel if you don't call me back in the next 20 minutes I'm calling the cops. You don't have to come back if you don't want, just let me know you're okay." Such a drama queen. Delete. I guess I better actually call him though. I dialed his numbers and rolled my eyes while it rang three times. Yeah he's so worried he doesn't even have his phone on him. Idiot.

"Hello? Angel? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Stop freaking out. Why do you even care anyway?"

"I'm not trying to argue with you. Where are you?"

"I dunno. Some playground. Happy? Can I go now?"

"Please come home." He sounded strange. Tired. Worried. "I'm sorry for being a dick."

"Fine. Apology accepted. Whatever." I paused, not wanting to tell him I had no idea how I got here, or how to get back to the house. It didn't feel like home to me. It felt like a hotel. I've never felt like anywhere was home.

"What park are you at?"

"I dunno." I shrugged, not that he could see it. He chuckled which pissed me off. "Fine. Laugh it up clown. Bye. I'll see you whenever."

"No wait! I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing at you. I was... I just imagined you shrugged, on the phone, and it was... never mind... sorry. Umm... is it just a playground or is there anything else nearby?"

"There's a baseball field down a little ways. And.... a tennis court in the other direction."

"Oh right. You're actually not far from here." He sounded.... relieved. Great. One more goddamn person worrying about me. At least he's not worrying that I'm going to drop dead while I walk up the stairs. He gave me directions, and he was right, I was actually really close to the house. I pulled up and sighed. This sucks. I closed my eyes and sat in the car a couple minutes, just breathing and trying to not care about anything.

Before I got the front door Randy rushed out and hugged me. "Geezus Christ Angel!" He was pretty much crushing every bone that was unlucky enough to be caught in his grasp, but I was so confused by the action I couldn't really care. What the hell.

"What the hell?" I choked out. He didn't relax his hold at all. So I just hugged him back. "Sorry I made you worry." I whispered.

He finally let me go. "Sorry I called you a bitch. I just... CM is a jerk. We don't get along. He's John's brother, and John's a dick too but he's at least a friend. Sorry."

"It's fine. Did you eat?"

"No. I drank. Alot."

"So I smell. Come on, I'll cook you something." I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand and walked into the kitchen. "Fuck Randy!" Nearly every flat surface in the kitchen was covered with some kind of can, bottle, or cup.

"I told you I drank alot. I mean, I didn't drink all this alone." He didn't seem the slightest bit embarrassed. He just shrugged.

"Are they still here?"

"No, everyone's gone." Before I could go off on him for letting them drive, he added, "There were designated drivers. It's okay." I relaxed. I'm far from perfect, but it really irks me when people die for stupid reasons—like driving drunk.

I dug around in the fridge and started making dinner. Randy cleaned up the kitchen, slightly. Which is to say, he took the cans and bottles to the recycle container.

"So, you kissed me..." He apparently couldn't deal with the silence. I smiled.

"Yep. You didn't seem to mind. Your girlfriend however..." I giggled. Stupid bitch.

"Yeah. I had to hear about it all day. She's a bitch." He chuckled to himself, and I raised an eyebrow. He just shook his head, still laughing.

"So... you were worried about me?" While we're playing random twenty questions...

"Very. You don't know your way around, and there are parts of the city that aren't safe. Tomorrow I'll take you on a tour, if you want. Why didn't you answer when I called? I called like 30 times. Now I know what a stalker feels like." I laughed.

"Usually stalkers don't lose their victims."

"Smartass." He smiled.

"I had the phone on silent, so I didn't hear it in the car. And I left it in the car while I was on the playground. Taste this." I handed him a spoon and he tasted the sauce, making a face that clearly indicated it wasn't good. I smiled and added more spices.

"You were on the playground? Doing what?"

"Swinging."

"Oh of course. So do you want to go do the city tour tomorrow?"

"Sure. Whatever. Why'd you want to sleep with me?"

"I don't know." He answered slowly, and I looked at him. He looked like he was telling the truth. "I just like it."

"Why are you so hot all the time?"

He laughed. "Good genes I guess." I smiled.

"Smartass."

"I don't know. I've always been like this. Maybe I'm a werewolf." He winked. I rolled my eyes. Idiot.

"You do tend to act like a dog sometimes."

"Hey! That's not nice." He was still smiling. I could get used to the smiles. But I shouldn't.

"Have you ever been in love?"

"Nope. You?" He didn't hesitate, which seemed odd. Maybe he'd been thinking about it.

"No. I've never actually dated anyone." Flashback to no one wants to be with the nearly dead girl. He wrinkled his forehead like he was thinking hard about my answer, but he didn't speak. "Here, taste it now." The new face was more approving. Sauce is nearly done.

"Why didn't you ever date?"

"No one asked." I answered truthfully. No need to go into reasons why.

"Odd. My friends fucking drool all over you." I narrowed my eyes in confusion, but my back was turned to him so he didn't see it.

"Hey. I'm sorry I kissed Phil."

"Okay."He paused, and I was about to turn around to see why. Then he spoke again. "Why'd you do it?"

"Why'd you bring that girl here?"

"Touché."

"I really was just curious about the tongue piercing. And since you don't have one, I had to go elsewhere." I winked and he smiled.

"You're so odd. And hot. My father may be a dick, but he's got good taste." He was clearly trying to embarrass me, and it worked. I blushed and he laughed. "So that's it!"

"What?"

"That's how to make you blush. You do it to me all the time. And all it takes for you is to compliment you? Hmm.... Well.... Your skin is so soft, and feeling it against mine makes my entire body tingle. It's not easy to keep my hands in respectable places." He watched my face turn red again and he laughed. "This is so fun."

"Are you just making up shit to make me blush?"

"No I'm just telling the truth. I wouldn't normally say it out loud, but it's true." He was laughing and I just smiled. Stupid cute idiot hotness.

"Ready to eat?" I tried to get onto any subject other than me. He got up and grabbed plates for me.

"Will you sleep with me tonight? I promise I won't be a jerk about it." He whispered in my ear. It made me smile, but I bit my lip before he could see it. "I saw that. Is that a yes?" Thought too soon.

We ate dinner and talked about pretty much everything. He told me about taking over the family business, and how he didn't actually mind it. I told him about my favorite movies and that I'd always wanted to go to a musical on Broadway. We talked about his friends, and he was flabbergasted as to why I didn't really have friends. I have friends in chat rooms, but I didn't tell him that. Online friends don't have to know I'm dying.

It's getting harder to keep my secret from him. He's too perfect.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked rudely. Oops.

"What'd I do now?!"

"Nothing. Sorry." I started to clear the table and he grabbed my wrist.

"No, tell me, please. What do you mean?"

"I mean... well, I can't really see what the problem is. So, what is it? What's wrong with you that your parents had to bring me along? You're hot. You have a lot of friends that don't all seem to be complete idiots. You don't mind taking over the family business. You're... I just don't get it." I shrugged, internally cursing myself for being honest.

"You like me."

"That's not an answer."

"It is, actually. My parents think my friends are all complete idiots. Sure, they're the kids of all of their friends, but really my dad thinks they're all as stupid as he thinks their parents are. Which is pretty bad. My dad's a hard worker, and he thinks anyone that doesn't work hard is a yutz—his word. My mom doesn't really think about business stuff. She's the house guru, ya know. I imagine that's what she expects you to become too. I don't see that happening."

"You don't think I can run a house?"

"I don't think that's all you can do." I blushed again. He laughed. "I love that."

"I still don't understand. Why are they making you marry a stranger?"

"I don't know. It's not so bad. You look good in the pool." I smacked his arm and he laughed.

"Randy?" I wanted him to get back on topic. I wanted to understand.

"You like me. You're overlooking all the bad things that are the sole focus of my parents. My dad likes you a lot, I think."

"I know we don't really have serious conversations, but I really want to know this. You're practically perfect. I just don't get it."

"I'm drunk Angel. I don't want to talk about this. Can we go to bed and watch a movie or something?"

"It's not even 9:30."

"Please drop it."

"Fine. It's dropped. Go to bed if you want. I'll take care of the mess." I kissed his cheek and pulled away to clean up the mess. If he's going to shut me out, then why should I bother to open up to him anymore? Granted, I'm keeping a huge secret from him, so he should be allowed to do the same.

"I'm sorry. Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad. You're drunk. Go upstairs. I'll see you in a while."

"My dad thinks that if I marry you I'll grow up, stop being a playboy, start being a grown-up."

"What do you want?"

"I want you to come to bed with me." I sighed. "Sorry. Look Angel, you seem to think I'm so great, and part of me really loves that, but part of me.... I'm not that great. That shit with Ashley the other day and Maryse today—that's normal life for me. Abnormal life is me giving a fuck what happens to you. Normal is me being selfish, drinking myself to a stupor every day with the idiots I call friends, nodding off in meetings with my dad's partners. This, this whole playing house and helping you clean up after dinner, hell even cleaning up after myself and my idiot friends—this is so far from normal for me. Don't get attached to this guy."

"Yeah well you shouldn't get attached to me either."

"Why?" He looked confused.

Because I'm dying. "Because no one stays the same Randy. People change. Every day. You can act like you're the loser you think your dad thinks you are, but I know better. Trust me. I know more than you think." He'd put his arms around my waist, and I liked it. Too much. I jerked away.

I can't do this. I can't fall in love with someone that I lie to every minute of every day.

"Angel?"

"Just treat me like you do the rest of your whores Randy. It's better that way."


	7. Chapter 7

_**Please REVIEW & Comment readers!!!It really gets me excited to write this to**_ Angelwilliamsfan and babsid .****__

Chapt 7.

"I won't. You're going to be my wife! For fuck's sake Angel! What the hell is wrong with you?! Don't you _want_ to love me? Don't you want to even give us a try? I mean, it's a long-shot, I understand, but don't you think it's even worth a try?" Randy was yelling in frustration and I didn't blame him at all. Yes I want to love you. And I want you to love me. But it isn't fair. It isn't fair to you.

"Nothing is wrong with me!" It was the only thing I could think to say. And I said it loudly.

"You're unbelievable! God, what the hell is wrong with ME?! You obviously don't want me. I'm so sorry I'm not fucking Phil Brooks. Fuck. Why am I here? Why did I send Mel away? Why do I care about you when you obviously don't care about me?!"

"That's not true! I do care about you! Why the fuck else would I want to rip that fucking trashy girl to shreds?!" Oops. Way to go Darby. Way to keep your distance. Idiot.

"Kiss me." He wasn't yelling anymore. He was barely speaking above a whisper. Great. Angry Randy at least understood that he should stay away from me. Fuck. I didn't respond and he didn't exactly wait. He pulled me against his chest and kissed me. Not hard. Not rough. Not like he was drunk and horny. Not like he had the right because I had to marry him. He kissed me like.... like you'd imagine someone kissing you right after they tell you they love you for the first time. I melted into it. I can't get enough of his kisses. Even if I had a normal life expectancy, I wouldn't have enough days on this planet to get enough of his kisses. I forgot that I needed to keep him away. I forgot that it was better for him. I forgot everything except kissing him.

"Randy..." I breathed his name out when his lips went to my neck.

"Mmmhmmm?" He didn't take his lips from my neck, and I forgot momentarily what I was trying to say. The vibration of his voice against my skin made me tingle.

"Mmm... Randy.... Stop... st—oh God... baby stop..." I cursed myself internally when he did as I asked.

"Why?" He looked directly into my eyes and I accidentally told him the truth.

"Because we're in the middle of the kitchen, not our bedroom." Fuck.

"_Our_ bedroom huh?" He smirked. Cocky shit. I smiled.

"That's not what I meant..."

"Well if you want us to share a bedroom, I don't mind." He smirked again and before I could respond he swept me off my feet and carried me bridal style up the stairs to his room. I can't imagine what my facial expression was exactly, but he started laughing. God I love that laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"Your face love. Priceless." He kissed me sweetly on the lips and continued laughing. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I'm leaving." I huffed again and tried to get off his giant bed. It made my skin crawl to think of how many slutty girls he'd had in his bed. Wait. He lives at home, with his parents. Gross. "How do you sleep with so many people when you live with your parents? That's sick." I blurted it out without thinking. He laughed.

"I had my own apartment up until about a month ago. I moved back here after graduation. I was about to go house hunting when the 'rents dropped the marriage bomb on me. So I just stayed here. They're never home anyway, so it wouldn't matter anyway. Why?"

"Just... this bed creeps me out. Please let me get off." He started laughing like a fool, and I realized what I'd said.

"That's what she said..." He managed to get out between laughing fits. Idiot. Adorable, hot, sexy idiot.

"Idiot."

"Adorable, hot, sexy idiot." He corrected with a smile. What the hell? He stood upright so I could get off his bed and I shuddered. It literally made my skin feel like I had bugs crawling all over me. Ugh. Gross.

"I'm going to finish cleaning the kitchen." I started walking to the door and he grabbed my wrist. He let it go as soon as I stopped moving.

"Sorry. Did I hurt you? I just... don't go. Stay with me." He looked like a little boy. I smiled.

"I'm just going to clean up the kitchen. I can't sleep with a messy kitchen. I'll be back in a couple minutes. You can come with me if you want, or you can take a shower and I'll be done when you are."

"And you'll come back up here?"

"No I'll go back to my room. This room creeps me out. I feel dirty just being in here." He laughed. "But you can sleep with me, if you want." I smiled.

"Okay, I'm gonna take a shower then." He pulled me gently to him again and kissed me just as sweetly as he had before. I pulled away before I could melt into him again.

I cleaned up the rest of the kitchen, including the mess he made with his idiot friends, and went upstairs to my room. He wasn't there so I took a quick shower and slipped on a T-shirt. I sleep naked, that's just how I sleep. And he's going to have to get used to it. I went down the hall and knocked on his door. He opened it nearly instantly and pulled me into a huge hug, lifting my feet off the floor.

"I thought you'd be waiting for me in my room." I smiled into his neck.

"No, it would be rude of me to go in there without asking you. Are you ready for bed? Wanna watch a movie or something?" He set me down and rested his forehead against mine.

"I'm ready for bed, but I'm too tired to watch a movie. You can put one on though. I'll just sleep thru it." He kissed me lightly and held my hand to walk down the hall. This is bad. He's getting attached. It's like getting a dog from the pound, getting attached, and then it gets hit by a car as soon as you love it. It's not fair to him, since I know the car's coming for me.

We climbed into my bed and he reached up to turn off the lamp.

"Hey, just to be fair… I sleep naked. I can't sleep otherwise. So don't freak out." I pulled my T-shirt off and I saw him smirk. Fool. I leaned up and gently kissed his cheek before rolling away from him onto my side. He scooted down into the bed, rolled onto his side, and pulled me back against him.

"Goodnight Angel." He kissed my neck lightly and rubbed his nose along my ear.

"Goodnight Randy." I kissed the hand that was holding mine right in front of my face, and I nuzzled closer to it. I love smelling him.

"I think I'm falling in love with you." he whispered as I was falling asleep. Oh fuck.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapt 8.

"Geezus Christ Angel, hurry up. Fucking leave it! We're going to be late! Let's go!" Randy had no patience. At all.

"It's not my fault you let me sleep late. You turned off my alarm clock!"

"Yes but it is your fault that you're wasting time doing dishes." He sighed, checking his watch again. "Babe, come ON already. Please. I hate being late. It's just rude. They've cleared their schedule for us, and it's disrespectful for us to be late." I smiled. Very diplomatic of him.

"I'm cleaning dishes because YOU had to eat breakfast Randy." I huffed. I was only arguing so I'd have a few more minutes to clean up my mess. He's arguing because that's what he does, he argues until he wins.

"Well I wouldn't want breakfast if you were a shittier cook." He smiled. Fool.

"Well I'll try to suck more then." He burst into laughter before I realized what I'd said. What a pervert. I smirked. "I'm done anyway." I took off the apron and hung it up, grabbing my purse and giant sunglasses.

Randy drove like a maniac to make up for the time we were 'late' for our meeting. Today was dedicated to planning our wedding. I think a lot of girls dream of their wedding day for a long time, imagining how they want it to look and all of that. Not me. When you're sure you're going to be dead any day, you don't really waste your limited time dreaming of a day you won't get. So, I had no idea what I wanted. It didn't matter. Arranged marriage and all. I'm just here to teach Randy a lesson. I'm not supposed to fall in love with him, and he's not supposed to fall in love with me.

He parked in front of a huge house that looked like the set of 'Gone with the Wind.' We weren't late. He rushed around to open my door, and grabbed my hand when I stood up. "Have I mentioned that I love when you wear heels? Ready?" He smirked. I kissed his cheek sweetly and he took that as a yes. I looked around as we walked up the long walkway.

After touring the place for two hours, and talking about everything with the wedding coordinator, we decided it was perfect. It was such a beautiful place, I found myself feeling excited for my wedding. Randy looked happy about it too. He filled out the paperwork to reserve everything while I flipped through albums of photos of other weddings that had happened there.

"Here is your information packet. It has all of your receipts stuck inside, as well as a checklist that most people find very helpful. You don't have much time to plan, you know. It's easy to forget things. There is also a copy of our catering menu. Look it over and schedule a meeting with our chef as soon as possible. My numbers are listed inside, if you have any questions." She smiled. She was short and rather plump. But she obviously enjoyed what she did, and she was nice. We shook her hand and walked back to the car. Randy leaned into me, pushing me gently against the car door. He kissed me. REALLY kissed me. My hands automatically went to his hair, and his automatically held my face. After a few minutes—literally!— he pulled away and smirked at me. He opened the door and I sat down. Then we left.

"Where are we going?" I really had no idea.

"We have a bunch of shit to get done babe. But first we're going to get you a ring. If you see something you like, great, but we'll probably have to have something custom-made. We don't have much time." As if it would help to get there ten minutes sooner, he sped up. I smiled. When he parked in front of a giant Tiffany's, I stopped smiling. I was nervous. "Babe? D? What's wrong? I just assumed this was okay, but we can go somewhere else?"

"Oh, sorry. No this is fine." I forced a smile and he cocked an eyebrow. He was getting better at reading my facial expressions, and he probably didn't believe me. But he didn't call me out on it.

We were greeted by a very pretty redhead wearing a skirt suit that looked like it was painted on. She looked at Radny and her face lit up, a reaction I was not unused to. "Can I help you?" I gritted my teeth at her seductive voice. She can just wait til I'm gone, but for now he's mine. Bitch.

"We need to get an engagement ring." Randy said proudly. He was really getting into all this. We followed the woman to a counter in the back of the store, and we sat down. She started asking me what I wanted and I sorta panicked.

"Umm... I... I want you to pick it baby." I recovered quickly and Randy didn't notice I was freaking out. He smiled.

"Really? What if you don't like it? You're going to have to wear it forever."

"It's just a decoration. You're what makes it special." What did I just say?! Oh hell. The girl looked like she wanted to roll her eyes, but Randy looked really happy.

He started looking in all the cases. He looked annoyed. He sighed a lot. I just giggled. This is definitely the way to do it-- sit in a chair with a cup of coffee while he stresses over what to pick. I was enjoying his frustration more than I should have, and I felt slightly guilty. Then... "I found it!" He looked at me with a HUGE grin on his face. It made me nervous. I walked over to him as he was telling the girl which one. She pulled it out and I laughed out loud. "You don't like it?" Randy looked really confused.

"You must be joking? That is freaking huge. That's probably more money than most small countries spend in a year. Randy, be serious." I rolled my eyes, still laughing to myself at the absurdity of it. The giggles stopped when I saw he wasn't smiling anymore.

"You told me to pick it, and that's the one I want. If you don't like it, then pick something else." He sounded irritated. And hurt.

"Baby, it's amazing. It's the most beautiful ring I've ever seen, of course, but it's just... it's too much." I touched his hand and looked into his eyes.

"Angel, I don't care about how things look to anyone else, but the fact is you're going to have to wear that ring for the rest of your life. And we'll be looked at under a microscope for the rest of our lives. You're marrying into an important family with important friends and important things to do. You're not just getting a husband, you're getting a full time job too. That ring is perfect. You'll never need an upgrade if we get that ring. But if you don't like what I picked, then just tell me what you want."

"Why'd you pick that one?" I asked seriously. He paused for a minute, thinking.

"It's platinum. It looks beautiful but it's fragile somehow, like you. And it easily supports a diamond, one of the hardest things on earth. Also like you. I'm not an easy person to like, and you overlook all of my flaws and only see the good in me. I don't deserve you. And the diamond... well, it's huge, but it just... It's classy and brilliant, and it's alone. It just looks like you. You put on this front like nothing matters, and I know it does. I know you're hiding something, but the thing is Angel... I love you." I gasped as he got down on one knee. Holy hell. "I love you. I want you to be my wife. I want you in my life, every day, for forever. I will never stop loving you. I want you to wear this ring and realize that as long as you have it you don't have to ever be alone again. Angel, will you marry me?" I was actually crying. The room erupted around us and it snapped me out of the little bubble I felt like we were in. I bit my lip but the smile came anyway. I couldn't seem to make my mouth make words, so I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. He stood up, bringing me up with him.

"You love me?" I whispered in his ear.

"More than I ever imagined I had the capacity to love anyone but myself. You've flipped my world upside down, and I'm so glad I have you in my life. Will you be my wife?" He smiled and I giggled.

"Yes." I whispered, but somehow everyone heard it. They all clapped again. This is crazy. "I still think that ring is ridiculous, but if that's the one you want then okay." He smiled and crushed his lips to mine. I didn't want to pull away, but I felt like we were being watched.

"That's the one." Randy said, tossing her a black card and crushing his lips to mine again. I giggled. He makes me feel alive. Which, in my case, is saying a lot. It just so happened that the ring fit me perfectly. It turns out, normally all rings come in a standard size, and that standard would have been too big for me, but there was some kind of error or something and this one came a full size smaller, making it fit me perfectly. Randy laughed at that. He said it was another sign it was meant for me—it was screwed up and still perfect, just like me. I smacked his arm when he called me screwed up, not that I could really argue with it.

The next stop was wedding cake tasting. By the end of the appointment, we were both sick. "I will never eat another bite of cake again." I groaned.

"Oh yes you will. I'm going to cram it in your face in front of every person who's ever met either of us or our parents." He smirked. Then he groaned.

"Fine. Can we go eat some real food please? All the sugar is making me ill." I crinkled my nose slightly and he smiled.

"Yep. Hey, don't you think I should maybe meet my future in-laws?"

"You could have met them before if you weren't being such a fuckhead." I smiled and he stuck his tongue out at me. "Don't stick that out if you don't plan to use it." I smirked. He yanked me against him and kissed me hard, cramming his tongue into my mouth. I moaned slightly and knotted my fingers in his hair. He pulled away and smirked at me.

"I used it. Now where do you wanna eat?" I bit my lip to hide the smile, but he knew that's why I bit my lip and it made him smile more. I stared down at my hand, nearly blinding myself with the perfect beautiful piece of bling on my tiny hand.

"I don't care. What else do we have to do today?" I was suddenly very tired. And cold. I started walking slower, and Randy looked concerned.

"Angel? What's wrong? You look pale. Do you feel okay?" He had his arm around my waist, so when I collapsed he caught me instantly. "Angel!" That's all I heard. Then I felt and heard nothing.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapt 9.

I woke up shivering. In an ambulance.

I tried to pull the mask from my face to speak, but someone held my hands down.

"Don't do that babe. You need the oxygen." Randy's words were calm but his voice was frantic. I couldn't speak. I could barely open my eyes again when I blinked. Like he was reading my mind, he answered the questions I hadn't asked. "You fainted, and when I couldn't wake you up I called the ambulance. Your body temperature is low. We're just going to get you checked out. Everything's going to be fine."

I didn't have the heart to tell him he was wrong. This is not uncommon. But I can't tell him that. I promised I wouldn't tell him, and it's been so perfect being with him, and him not knowing about my death sentence. He's the first person that's ever treated me like an actual person. And I know it's selfish but I'm falling in love with him, with how he makes me feel. As soon as he finds out what's going on, it'll all end.

I drifted back to sleep, listening to Ran's soothing words and the swish of the air conditioning in the back of the ambulance. I was shivering convulsively but I fell asleep anyway.

The next thing I know, I'm on a table in the ER, a doctor flashing a light into my eyes. Shit. Maybe I didn't fall asleep. I must have fainted again. Or worse. Fuck.

"Angel? Can you hear me?" The doctor had a slight accent that I couldn't place. Eastern European maybe? I tried to speak but my mouth was too dry. My stomach still hurt from eating all that wedding cake. I swallowed hard and forced the words out.

"Where's Randy?"

"He's out in the waiting area. Do you want me to get him?"

"No! Wait!" He looked at me with confusion. "He doesn't know about the heart issues. And I don't want him to know." I told the doctor the condensed version of my medical history, and he nodded.

"Well, then I guess you understand what's happened. There's a new drug out that may be able to help you a little bit. I'll release you if you want to go home, or I can keep you overnight. Normally I'd make you stay, but this is old hat for you isn't it?" I nodded and smiled.

"I'd like to go home. I'll go easy for a few days. It's fine. God he's going to flip. You might as well go get him before he has a heart attack himself." The doctor chuckled a little and sent a nurse to get Randy, who burst into the room in less than a minute.

"Oh my God baby are you okay?!" Yep, freaking out. He touched my face and ran his finger gently across my lips. Then he looked at the doctor with total fury in his eyes. "What the fuck is wrong with her and what are you doing to fix it?"

Geezus. He'll have no problem taking over the family business. God he can be fucking scary. The doctor shifted uncomfortably, looking at me for some indication of what to do. I kinda shook my head slightly.

"Umm... Mister..." The doctor was stalling, and I had to hide the smile. Everything about my life was so fucked up, and now I'm even dragging this poor ER doc into it.

"Randy Orton. Lauren's fiancé." Ran still had the mean business face on, which was completely sexy, but I had to hide that reaction too.

"Well Mr. Orton, Lauren's had... well, her heart has been stressed a bit much and she fainted. I'll write a prescription for some drugs that will help her, and she just needs to rest." He turned to me and I smiled. "Lauren, you need to eat better too. And no alcohol, no illicit drugs, no strenuous activity." He looked at Randy for the last one and I giggled.

"It's not funny Angel!" Randy snapped. He was really freaking out. God he's really going to die when I finally kick the bucket. I frowned. It was fake, but it was enough to make him sorry for snapping. "I'm sorry baby. Doc, does she need to stay here or can I take her home?"

"She can go home. I'll send a nurse in with the paperwork and the prescriptions. The pharmacy should be open downstairs." He looked at me with one of those knowing looks that said 'you know what to do, call me if there's a problem, blah blah blah.' I was used to those looks. I smiled and nodded slightly.

"We'll have to take a cab. I'll get the car tomorrow or something." Ran was holding my hand as I sat in the hospital wheelchair. I was perfectly fine to walk, but it's hospital policy. Whatever. Better not to argue. A cab pulled up and Ran helped me into the back seat. He went around to the other side, and I leaned against him on the way home.

"Don't tell my parents about this please." I whispered.

"It's happened before." It wasn't a question. Fuck. Hiding something is one thing but flat out lying.... I won't lie to him.

"Yeah. It's not uncommon. I have.... umm... a weak heart. It's not a big deal." Actually, none of that was a lie. It wasn't a big deal to me at all, the whole dying thing. I knew he'd have a different opinion, but whatever.

"Not a big deal?! Baby! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because I knew you'd freak out like you are right now. I'm not any different than I was when you were on your knees today!" I frowned and stuck out my bottom lip like a child.

"I wasn't on my knees! That sounds so... I don't know, perverted. I was on one knee. That sounds cute and romantic. Don't be a brat." I giggled. He leaned his head down to kiss me lightly on the lips. I tried to deepen the kiss and he pulled away. "No way. Don't start. You heard the doc. I mean, God, he practically accused me of trying to kill you with sex!"

"There are worse ways to go." I smirked and he laughed.

"You're terrible."

The cab dropped us off at the house and Randy insisted on carrying me up the stairs. I didn't bother to protest, partly because I knew it wouldn't make a difference, and partly because I liked it.

"Will you stay with me?" I whispered.

"Forever." He kissed me lightly and rested his forehead on mine. "You scared the living hell out of me today babe. How bout let's not do that again?" He smiled but he looked so tired and worn out.

"I'll see what I can do." I smiled and he relaxed slightly.

"I'm going to go order some food. Chinese okay? Mexican?"

"Chinese is fine. Shrimp fried rice." I closed my eyes and they were slow to open again.

"K. I'll be right back." He kissed me again and then he was gone. Exhaustion took over, and I drifted to sleep before he came back in.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapt 10.

"No way!"

"Fuck you!"

"Don't be a brat!"

"Must I repeat myself?!"

"STOP! You're not going out there! It's too hot."

"You're not my mother Randy, you're my fucking fiancé! I'm going outside to sit by the pool, and when I get hot I'll get in the pool. That's kind of what it's there for. And YOU aren't going to stop me!" I growled, yanking on the cover-up dress and shoving my feet into my flip-flops.

"Please baby?" He'd dropped the yelling and opted for cute and sweet. He was actually looking up from under his eyelashes, which I thought was unfair because he knows that gets to me. But not this time.

"No. I'm going." I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. He frowned.

"But I'm worried about you." He whispered. That's just too much. I was close to caving but I held my ground.

"Ran, I've been in this house for 2 weeks! I'm bored! I can't stand it. The pills are working and I feel great. This is why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd start treating me like some kinda fragile doll or something. I hate it. You don't even touch me now! God what's the point of getting married if you're not having sex?!" Not that I know anything about having sex, of course, but he does.

It's been a little over 2 weeks since the hospital. I haven't gone anywhere, at all. I haven't even been outside very much. Randy hovers over me, and when he has to go somewhere he sends his friends to hover over me. They don't seem to care as much as he does, but they still won't let me go outside. I feel like a prisoner. And, he's so afraid he'll hurt me somehow, he barely kisses me. He sleeps with me, but I think it's only because he worries that I can't regulate my own body temperature. Today was just the last straw. I just snapped.

"It's not just about sex baby." He was now using his professional business voice, which he used when he was hiding something. This time I imagine he was hiding his disdain for the no sex thing.

"Fine. You don't want to sleep with me? Fine. But when you start fucking someone else whose heart won't explode just because you touch her, at least have the decency to do it out of my house!" I stormed out before he could see the tears. I really made a fucking mess of this. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. Fuck.

I was lounging on a float in the pool, nearly asleep, when Randy finally came out. When his shadow blocked the sun from my face, I looked up at him. He was wearing board shorts like he was actually going to swim with me. I knew better. I rolled my eyes and closed them again.

"Don't ever fucking say that to me again." His tone was hard and it surprised me. I opened one eye to look at him, but the sun was too bright. He shifted so he was blocking the light from my eyes and I looked at him again.

"What?"

"I love you. You're a fucking pain in my ass most of the time, but I love you. Why would you think I would have sex with someone else?"

"Because you're a guy, and you won't have sex with me. It's only logical that you'd find someone else."

"Oh. Right. I forgot, you're also an idiot." He rolled his eyes and took a step forward into the pool. The wave nearly knocked me off the float. He swam to the surface and rested his arms on the edge of the float, touching my leg.

"I'm a realist."

"Right. Whatever. Idiot." He smirked.

"Stop calling me an idiot!" I sat up to glare at him, losing my balance and falling into the pool. When I came back up Ran was laughing.

"Drama queen as well." I smacked him. He pulled me against him and kissed me. I hesitated, waiting for him to let me go and tell me it's not safe for me, but he didn't. He deepened the kiss and the next thing I knew we were nearly having sex in the corner of the deep end of the pool. We both pulled apart when we heard the garage door. "Fuck." Neither of us was really breathing that evenly.

"If you insist." I winked and pulled him back to kiss me more. He chuckled. The vibration of his hot skin against mine in the cold water felt good. Actually, just his skin against mine felt good, the rest was just... better. He didn't pull away and we just kissed as he swam us around the pool.

"Ahem." We looked up to see his parents standing in the shade near the shallow end. Elaine was smiling a genuine smile, though admittedly slightly blushing. Bob looked... concerned. I understood why. He hadn't expected Randy to fall in love with me. Presumably he didn't care if I fell in love with Ran, but he was worried that he'd be the cause of emotional scars for his son when I finally die.

"Hey. What are you guys doing back?" Randy moved me around his body so I was hanging on his back like a backpack. I giggled. He moved up to the edge of the pool and held on while he talked to them. I buried my face in his shoulder because the sun was too bright.

"Your mother forced me to cut the trip short. Wedding something or rather." Bob was acting fine, like his normal self, and I smiled to myself. Randy is so like him.

"Calcutta is disgusting and I was ready to leave. Besides, Lauren has to find a dress and I'm going to help her." She smiled down at me and I squinted to smile up at her. "I've made you an appointment for tomorrow at noon, but we'll need to leave by 10, okay? Randell you need to get measured for your tux. I know you just were, but that was a few months ago so do it again. You also need to-"

"I know Mom. I got it. I'll finish it all up tomorrow while you're torturing my future bride." I groaned and he smiled.

"It's not torture dear, it's duty." And with that, Elaine went back in the house. Bob lingered for a moment, watching us. Randy ignored it. But I didn't. Eventually Bob went back inside and Randy went back to kissing me.

"I've missed your lips so much." He whispered against said lips.

"It's your own fault you've been without." I smirked. He pulled on my bottom lip gently with his teeth and I moaned. He smirked. "What else do you have to do besides get your tux?"

"Stuff. Lots of stuff actually." He groaned slightly and frowned. I kissed the corner of his lips and he smiled. Better. I could stare at Randy's smile forever. The frown, not so much. "Hey I need to talk to you about something. Wanna go out to dinner tonight?" My face lit up instantly. "I'll take that as a yes." He kissed me again and I melted into his embrace.

"You got too much sun today." Ran had that annoying parent tone of voice and I rolled my eyes.

"Well next time maybe you should bring me up here to have sex." I winked.

"That's hardly as exciting as being in the pool though is it?" He winked back, and that was the end of parent voice.

We went to dinner at a cute little restaurant. We even had wine, probably because he knows I don't like it enough to drink much of it. We chatted about random things over dinner, but when dessert came he cleared his throat as I dug the spoon into the sorbet in front of me. I looked up at him and he looked... nervous.

"So...." I prodded.

"I love you." He blurted out. Don't get me wrong, I reallllly love hearing that, but he was stalling. I raised an eyebrow and took a small bite of my delicious dessert. He just sat and pushed at the cheesecake in front of him.

"What is it you're so nervous about?"

"I'm not nervous!" He said a little louder than necessary. I giggled. "Okay, I'm a little nervous."

"Baby, you see me naked every day. We're getting married in 6 weeks. What's so bad that you're suddenly nervous around me?" He took a deep breath.

"We're getting married in 45 days..." He paused. This is really freaking me out. "And we'll go on our honeymoon... 10 days but I'm not telling you anything else. Then we'll have about 3 days before I have to start work at the company..."

"Okay?" So far I hadn't heard anything that was bad enough to make him nervous, although the honeymoon thing had peaked my interest.

"At the end of my first week, Dad wants us to have a party. At our house."

"Okay..." I still wasn't getting it.

"_Our_ house."

"Oh." Oh shit! He watched the lightbulb come on for me and his face tightened a little. "So... we need to find a house?"

"Umm... yeah. Well... Dad sorta... bought us one." He paused, watching my face for a reaction. I thought about it for a moment, and smiled.

"Cool. One less thing we have to do." He smiled at my reaction.

"Yeah well... we still have to buy furniture for it. Mom offered to do that as well, but I just thought... I mean..."

"It wouldn't feel much like our home if we didn't have anything to do with its contents, right?" I smiled a genuine smile, then it started to fade and I had to hold a fake one in its place. This life he's building with me, it's temporary. It'll all end, and then he'll be left with a house full of memories of his dead wife. It's too late now, for both of us. There's no way out of it. There's no way for this to not end with hurt.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapt 11.

The house that was to be our wedding gift was amazing. Some people have more money than sense. Of course, it's not as big as Randy's parents' house, but it's too huge for two people.

"Babe? Come ooooonnnnn." Randy whined. I sighed and closed the back door. Bob may not care about me, but he couldn't have found a more perfect house for me. The pool in the backyard is smaller, but there's a waterfall and a built-in bar, kind of like a resort. There's also a huge outdoor kitchen, which Elaine informed me was because Randy was always watching grilling shows on the food channel. I smiled sweetly, trying to hide the laughter.

"You're a tyrant." I huffed, sneaking one last look at our new backyard.

"I am not. My mother is a tyrant. And she'll have a fit if we're late for dinner. Let's go. It's going to take nearly 2 hours to get there anyway. I knew I shouldn't have stopped here." He grumbled as he grabbed my hand and forced me to walk to the car.

We drove in silence for half an hour. Actually, he drove, I sat in the passenger seat playing with the radio, and he huffed when I played a song he disliked. Finally, I got tired of the silent treatment.

"Are you mad at me?" I tried to sound as cute as possible and I batted my eyes slightly when he glanced at me. He looked... pale. He didn't answer me. "You're mad at me?" I asked incredulously. "Why? Just because I enjoy being in our house?!"

"No baby I'm not mad at you. And I love that you love the house. I'm not mad. I'm just... nervous." Suddenly it dawned on me, and I giggled. He was nervous to meet my parents. Then I thought how sweet that was. I twisted in my seat to lean over and kiss him, first on the cheek then on the neck. He was almost never nervous, and I found it to be a total turn-on. I moaned against his neck and he jerked his head away. "Baby, stop, please. I'm driving." Business voice. Fuck.

"Sorry." I muttered as I readjusted myself in my seat.

The rest of the drive was filled with house-related conversation. We discussed what color flowers the gardeners should plant in the front of the house; what color to paint the dining room; why he thought we needed a game room with an air hockey table; things like that. We also talked a little about the wedding. Then, we pulled up at the restaurant. Suddenly, I was the nervous one.

"Ran...."

"What's wrong Ang? You look pale. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm... I'm fine. I'm just a little... they're not like me. They don't really know anything about me, ya know. I mean, they're good people, really, and they love me more than anything, but they don't really know _me_ that well."

"I'm sure it'll be fine." He smiled reassuringly.

I need to tell him the truth. I can't do this. I can't trick him into marrying me. He deserves to know the truth. I owe it to him. But telling him now could be a bad idea. We have to do this dinner. But, then again, if my parents are still acting like they're dead, then it may help him understand. Crap. I decided on sticking to silence for now, and we walked into the restaurant holding hands.

"Yes sir, can I help you?" The hostess looked at Randy like she was unimpressed, which actually caught me by surprise. It's the first time he's gotten that reaction.

"Orton party." He said coldly. I squeezed his hand slightly and he relaxed the tension in his shoulders. What the hell?

"Right this way." She smiled politely but didn't look at us again. Weird. She led us to a private dining room in the back and both sets of parents were seated already. My eyes locked on my parents nervously and they jumped from their seats and ran to me, hugging me tightly and fawning all over me. My dad basically wrenched me from Randy's grip, which had tightened as my parents came close to us. When I sputtered slightly, indicating a general lack of oxygen from the pressure of the vice-like grip around my chest, my dad released me and my mom repeated his actions slightly less vice-like. Randy seemed uncomfortable with the situation—either because he was nervous or because he was unhappy that they were being so rough with me. I was too shocked to think.

"Lauren you look so good sweetheart!" My mom gushed when she finally stepped back to look at me. My dad agreed by nodding his head and trying not to cry. When my mom finally let me go, I grabbed Randy's hand again. Luckily, he hadn't moved away from me.

"This is why. Mom, Dad, this is Randy. Ran, this is my mom and dad." I beamed. It was ridiculous, really, but I was completely proud to introduce Ran to my parents.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Williams." Randy stretched his free hand out to shake theirs.

"Call us Mike and Shelly please." My mom smiled. She was smitten with him already, I could tell. My dad was expressionless but he shook Randy's hand politely.

We sat down and a waiter came to take out drink orders. Randy apologized for our lateness, completely blaming my infatuation with the new house. Thanks for throwing me under the bus there sweetie! Hmph. But they all seemed to think that was cute, so we were forgiven.

Dinner was actually pleasant. Neither of my parents acted like they were corpses, for which I was grateful. Bob didn't act like he was sentencing his son to a life of misery, for which I was also grateful. Three hours later, we were on our way home.

"Thank you." I whispered, ready to fall asleep at any moment.

"For what?" Randy responded quietly. He was tired too, but he had to drive and I got to sleep on his shoulder in the car.

"For being perfect. You don't deserve to be stuck with me." I drifted off to sleep, hugging his arm like a pillow. I woke up when he parked the car in the garage. We were still living in his parents' house, waiting for our house to be ready.

"We're going to talk in the morning. It's late now." He wrapped his arms around my waist as we walked up the stairs. It was pretty much a blur for me, to be honest. I stripped and fell into bed, followed quickly by Randy.

"Hotttt." I whined as the sun peered through the window. This is how we wake up every morning— wrapped up in each other, and me griping that he's too hot when I wake up sweating from the skin to skin contact. Then, as usual, he huffed into my hair and rolled over.

It's nice having a simple routine like that. Everything about being with Randy is nice. Except its inevitable end. That isn't so nice. For him. That just plain sucks for him. It's not so bad for me. I get to have a perfect life and then just leave it quietly. Hopefully. Knowing Randy, I doubt he'll let me go quietly, actually.

He had to go deal with something with someone that he wouldn't talk about. Presumably something about the honeymoon trip. He'd been pretty hush-hush about that. He left with a promise that we needed to talk when he got back. I decided I needed to talk to Bob before he found some excuse to be gone for a long time again.

I took a shower and dressed as soon as Ran kissed me goodbye. I don't get nervous often, but I wasn't sure what I was going to say, so standing outside of Bob's office I had to try to steady my breathing. I gave up and just knocked, entering at his command.

"Oh, Angel, what a surprise. What can I do for you? If you're probing about my son, he hasn't told me about the trip." He was smiling. I smiled slightly in return.

"Oh, no, it's not about that. I do need to talk to you though." I said gravely. His smile faded and he motioned for me to sit.

"What is the problem?"

"I know the deal you made with my parents. I know I'm of legal age and don't have to go through with this wedding just because of your little deal. And I know you asked me to keep the details to myself, especially from Randy. I can no longer do that. I'm sorry."

"Are you... leaving?" Bob hesitantly asked.

"No!" I answered louder than I intended. It caught me by surprise though. "I mean, no, I'm not backing out of the wedding. I meant... I can't just not tell him. I know when you set this up, you never thought he'd fall in love with me. I didn't either. But, I've never thought of him as the person you described when you picked me up from my house either."

"Yes he does seem to be quite different since you came along." Bob looked like his mind was somewhere else. I cleared my throat slightly.

"I know I shouldn't have, but I fell in love with him. And in case it wasn't completely obvious, he's fallen in love with me. If you're just worried about his being responsible enough to run your company, I think it's safe to say he is. But I can't marry him and keep the truth from him. He deserves to know what he's getting himself into."

"I understand...."

"I've thought about this quite a bit. It's been... a hard decision. He's the first person in my life that's treated me like a person, and I assume that's because he doesn't know how limited my time is here. But it's unfair to sentence him to become a widower with no warning, especially since I think we both know this shitty heart of mine will cease to function very soon. The new drugs are helping, but not enough. It won't be long. A year at most."

"You know Angel, when I first met you, I was... well, shocked. You're so comfortable with your own demise. It saddened me. It saddened me for you, and for my son. But I've watched you, both of you. You're both more vibrant now. You're literally more vibrant—your skin glows, and your eyes shine when he's around you, and you've actually put some meat on your bones. You look like you're living. And I presume that my son has had something to do with that. And Randall... he's so much... he's what I knew he always could be. And that, my dear, is because of you."

"So you understand why I have to tell him? If he decides he doesn't want to marry me..."

"I'll keep my end of the deal regardless dear." He smiled. We chatted a bit more, and I excused myself when his phone rang. I could definitely do worse in the in-laws department.

"Angel!" Perhaps I spoke too soon. I turned to see Kathy running toward me. I grimaced. This can't be good.

"Yes?"

"Sorry. I'm running so very late and Randy just called and asked me to bring you to him. You're supposed to be doing your bridal registries today, correct?" Crap. I completely forgot. "You forgot didn't you?" She smiled.

"Give me five minutes to change." I smiled and jogged off to my room to change.

Forty minutes later, a frazzled Elaine dropped me off at the curb of the shopping center where I was supposed to meet Randy. She squealed her tires trying to get away to make it to her appointment. I smiled slightly, but I squeaked in shock when I felt hands on my waist. Randy chuckled.

"Jumpy much?"

"Well, you know how it is, being so irresistible, you never can be too careful in public, what with everyone wanting to touch me and all." I leaned up to kiss him and he smirked.

"Yes, I do understand that concept." I was kidding, of course, but he probably wasn't.

"Well, let's go shoot some shit with an electronic gun." I smiled and his face lit up. He bought us coffee on the way to the first store, where we had an appointment with a snooty woman close to our age. Her attitude could have been a permanent addition to her wardrobe, or she could have been a bitch because she assumed Randy was too hot for me. When she finally shut up with her little rant about fine dining, she handed each of us an electronic scanner and told us how to use them. Then she disappeared, thank goodness.

"What a bitch." Randy said as we walked away. The first section was china and crystal, and I didn't have an opinion. Neither did he. Crap. "Baby, this is your thing. House stuff, that's all you."

After going back and forth for a few minutes, I just picked something simple and pretty. "How many settings?"

"Umm... like 20 maybe?" He shrugged and I copied him. Twenty it is. Next.

"Randy! No one needs two waffle irons! That is ridiculous!" He'd been clicking on just about everything in the store and it was annoying me. When we finally made it to bedding, I pretty much went crazy.

"Angel, come on. I'm sure we don't need _that_ many sets of sheets." He whined. I giggled and he pulled me in to kiss him. He dropped his scanner on the floor because he felt his hands were better put to use holding me. I didn't disagree. Fortunately, the gun wasn't broken.

When we finally got out of the store, Randy's smile faded slightly. "Why did you say I don't deserve to be stuck with you?"

I bit my lip. "I need to talk to you about something. Something important."

We went to a small pub and sat in the back. After our drinks and snacks arrived, I started talking.

"I love you. I—"

"And I love you." He interrupted.

"No, just listen please. Don't interrupt. This is... hard." He just nodded. I started over. "I love you Randy. I know this whole marriage wasn't by our choice, but I couldn't be happier to have you. You've the only person who's ever treated me like a person. Like I'm capable. But the thing is... well, you met my parents, they're great right? I told you they were. But... that's the happiest I've ever seen them. Ever. That's the most alive I've ever seen them. They've always looked so tired, and really just... dead."

"Angel, this is freaky. What the hell is going on?" Note to self, get him some patience for Christmas.

"I'm dying." I paused, watching him for a reaction, but there was none. He was blank. I continued. "At the hospital, when I said that wasn't the first time..." I filled him in on the gory details of my medical history, and he listened carefully without interrupting.

"Oh."

"I love you. So much. I kept it from you, at first because your father asked me to, then because I liked how you treated me, and I knew it would change if you knew. Now, I just... if you don't want to marry me, I understand." I sighed and took a drink of the water in front of me.

"What?" He sounded confused. Really confused.

"I said, if—"

"I heard you. Don't repeat it. Ever." He growled menacingly and I felt my lip quiver. I bit my lip to keep from crying. He took a deep breath and continued. "I made a fool of myself in the middle of a fucking jewelry store, for you. Because every breath I take is easier when you're around. Because you drive me up the fucking wall and sometimes I just want to strangle you. Because you have complete faith in me. Because YOU make me actually like who I am. I'm better because of you. Why wouldn't I want to marry you? The only thing you've told me is that you have a heart condition that may or may not allow you to have sex in the bathroom on the plane on the way to our honeymoon destination." He smirked but I barely saw it through the tears. "Come're." He held his hands out and I moved around to sit next to him.

"I love you so much. I never cared before, but I do now. I don't want to die. I mean, I never wanted to die, but I never minded. Now I do. I want to stay with you. I want a really long life with you. You deserve that. You deserve a happy ending. Not a funeral. I'm so sorry."

"Shh. Don't cry. Don't apologize. It's okay. You just have to stay alive, for like 50 more years? Then check back and I'll let you know if I've had enough." He kissed the top of my head and I just cried more.

I didn't have it in me to tell him how close I thought the end was. He'd never believe it anyway.

God. I am such a fucking idiot. I should have just stayed away from him, played the part of the wife when people were looking, and let him have his whores. No one ever hurts when their whores leave them. They just get new ones.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapt 12.

The days blurred into weeks. Randy had started working a little with his dad, getting to know how everything works. Elaine had been glued to my side nearly every waking moment, helping me take care of things with the wedding and the house. I adored her, even though she's manic and obsessive sometimes.

"You know Lauren, I really appreciate how candid you've been. When Bob told me about this arrangement, I was horrified. I love my son, very much. I didn't want him to be scarred by being forced into a marriage, and I certainly didn't want him to be stuck with a dying bride. I want everything wonderful that life can bring to him. And that's why I'm so grateful for you." Elaine's eyes were glistening like she was about to cry. I looked down at the paint wheel in front of me to hide the tears in my eyes.

"I love him. I never expected that. To be honest, I just thought I'd enjoy the pool and ignore whatever trouble he brought around. I thought he'd prefer to ignore me, but he didn't. He's a good person. I'm sure the company is in great hands."

Elaine laughed. "Oh hunnie, I don't care about the company. The board of Directors won't let anything terrible happen to the company. I just want my son to be happy, and he is. Because of you. And I really hate that you have to deal with this, but... "

She continued lecturing about the proper way I had to run a house, and what my responsibilities would be as the wife of the CEO of a multibillion dollar corporation. I'd never really thought about that, but it made sense.

A few days after the big lecture, while the house was getting the final paint touch-ups and furniture was being delivered, Elaine took me shopping. It was miserable. And she spent a freaking fortune. I was exhausted, even though we only shopped for about 6 hours. She drove us right to the new house, where Randy was standing out front barking orders to a bunch of people carrying furniture.

"Oh thank God!" He hugged me briefly, but tightly, and kissed my cheek. "Babe, I have no fucking clue where to tell these people to put everything." He sounded frazzled and tired. He hadn't been sleeping much lately.

"Randall dear, no offense, but you look like hell." Elaine smiled sweetly.

"Umm, thanks mom. Really." He looked at me with that 'how the hell do I respond to that' look and I giggled. Then I looked more closely at him.

"She's right. You look... exhausted. Tell your dad you're not working anymore until we get back from our trip. I don't want you to look like crap in my wedding pictures." I winked at him and went inside to instruct the movers.

It's was after 8 when the movers finally left. Elaine went to meet Bob for dinner at 6, and Randy had fallen asleep in a chair while I told the movers where to put everything.

"Babe? Ran? baby wake up. Your back's going to be killing you if you stay like that." I nudged him until he woke up. He looked around confused before it dawned on him where he was. Then he smiled.

"We're home." He muttered as he yawned and stretched. I cringed when his back popped like someone twisting a sheet of bubble wrap.

"Yes we are but we can't sleep here."

"Why not?!"

"Well... we don't have any clothes here, or sheets, or food." That was a lie actually, I had a ton of clothes, and we'd actually bought stuff for Randy so he had stuff there as well. We also had several sets of sheets there, because all of the wedding shower gifts had been sent directly to the house.

"We have everything we need." He smirked and pulled out his phone. "Chinese okay?"

"You want our first meal in our new house to be Chinese take-out?" I smiled and he started dialing. He ordered a ton of food and I went to dig out a set of sheets. "They need to be washed."

"We can suck it up tonight. I'm too tired to wait for them to wash and dry. Come on." He pulled me up to our bedroom and started putting the sheets on the bed. It surprised me. "What? I know how to make a bed. I lived on my own Angel, geez gimme some credit."

"I know. I just... " The doorbell rang and I dropped it. "Food's here."

"I'll get it. Can you finish this?" I nodded and he went downstairs. Actually, he must have run because it sounded like a herd of elephants running through the house. I smiled. He may be running a huge business, but he's still young at heart. Heart. Wow. I wish I had one that didn't suck.

We ate dinner and went to bed. We were both exhausted, but we lay in bed talking for a while before we fell asleep.

"So, the guys want to throw me a bachelor party." He said hesitantly, watching my face carefully. I just smiled.

"Of course they do. We're getting married next Saturday, when's the party?'

"Parties, actually. The girls want to throw you a bachelorette party the same night that the guys—"

"No."

"Angel..."

"No." Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with the group of girls, as a whole, and I don't have a problem with a party, but I just don't want to go celebrate the end of my single life with them. One, I'm ridiculously happy to be getting married. And two, I don't trust any of them as far as I could throw them.

"Why not? baby please?"

"Randy I don't care if you go. Go out with your friends, have fun, really. I just don't want to go out."

"Tell me why. You didn't put up any kind of fight when Maryse and Alicia were forced into the wedding. Why won't you let them take you out? They want to know you babe. Alicia's a good person. I can't for the life of me see why she's dating Jack, but whatever. He's lucky to have her, like I'm lucky to have you." Flattery will get you everywhere.

"I don't want to go out and have a bachelorette party baby. And I mean, when is all of this supposed to happen anyway?"

"Next Friday." He cringed and waited for the explosion. I didn't disappoint.

"YOU WANT TO HAVE A BACHELOR PARTY THE NIGHT BEFORE OUR WEDDING?! ARE YOU INSANE?! NO NO NO!" He waited for me to calm down a bit, then I spoke as calmly as I could muster. "Randy, if you come to our wedding hungover even the tiniest bit, I will never ever forgive you. And when I finally do kick it, I will haunt you forever." He frowned. Randy didn't like how nonchalant I was about dying. It really bothered him.

"We are both having a party next Friday. You will get dressed in something hot. You will smile and laugh and drink and dance. You will let Mickie cover you in feather boas and banners that say 'bride-to-be' or whatever the hell else she has planned. And you will fucking like it! And if you don't, we'll just stay home for our honeymoon. Don't get me wrong sweetheart, I don't care what bed we have sex in. But you'll be very sorry if you miss out on what I have planned. But it's up to you." He smirked. Asshole. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You're mean."

"Yep. Mickie will be here at 6 to help you get ready. I'm not leaving til 7:30 so I'll get to see you before you leave." He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. I crinkled my face.

"Fine. You're not driving are you?"

"No, and neither are you. Limos baby." His smile widened and I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever. Can we go to sleep now"

"You can try." He smirked and started kissing my neck. I moaned slightly and I felt his lips curl into a smile against my skin. "That's my favorite sound in the whole world." He continued kissed me, trailing his tongue over my whole body. I felt like a million bees were buzzing under my skin. My hands were in his perfect hair and my legs were wrapped around his waist. He felt so good pressed against me. My insides were on fire. I wanted him more than I wanted anything. Ever. But I should have known better.

He pulled back and sweetly kissed my cheek. "I love you baby. Goodnight."

"Oh. My. GOD! You suck!" I screeched. He chuckled.

"Yes I do. Very well." He smirked again and I flipped onto my side, away from him, pouting. "Don't pout. Besides, we both know you'll be glued to me in less than minute anyway, freezing cold. Then in the morning you'll be bitching at me for making you sweat." He laughed at himself and I huffed.

He was right though. I was wrapped in him within the minute, and we were asleep not long after that.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapt 13.

I woke up unusually early, and feeling extremely domestic. Randy was dead to the world, snoring loudly. I nudged him lightly and he turned over onto his side. The snoring stopped. I snuck out of bed and closed the door quietly behind me.

I went downstairs and looked around my new home. There was shit everywhere, but none of it was where it belonged. I decided the first order of business was laundry. I opened up another set of sheets and put them in the washer. Then I started digging in the closet that held some of our wedding gifts. I found the coffee maker box and tugged it from the pile. Fuck. What happened to normal coffee makers? Add water, press the power button, get coffee. No, this looked like it belonged in a Starbucks. Fuck. We don't even have any coffee.

I went upstairs quietly to change. I put on the clothes I had on yesterday and grabbed Randy's keys. I kissed his forehead lightly and snuck out. The grocery store was nearly empty, which didn't surprise me considering how early it was. I wandered through the store, buying random stuff. The cart was full by the time I checked out, and my phone started ringing as I was paying.

"Hey baby." I didn't check the caller ID, but who else would call me this early. I don't get up this early normally, and everyone knows it.

"Where the fuck are you?!"

"Umm, excuse me? Thank you." I smiled at the check-out girl and shoved the receipt in my pocket. I pushed the cart out to the car. "Do you want to rephrase that?"

"Yes. You're right. I'm sorry. WHERE IN THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU ANGEL?!"

"I'm shoving bags into your car. I didn't want to wake you up because you looked so peaceful. I knew you'd fucking freak out. God you're ridiculous. I'll be home in like ten minutes."

"I woke up and you were gone. What the fuck would you have done?" He didn't sound mad anymore, just... freaked out.

"I'm sorry baby. Ouch! Goddamn it! I hate your car."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I just tried to move this giant bag out of the way and it's heavy. What the hell is in this thing?"

"Don't open that!"

"Why? Is it a body?" I smiled and the old woman going into the store looked at me like I was crazy. I smiled sweetly at her.

"No but you'll be sorry if you open it."

"Too late. This is disgusting. You're cleaning out your car when I get home. This is sick baby." He had a huge bag of old gym clothes and baseball equipment from who knows how long ago. Gross.

"Fine. Anything else you need me to do Miss Bossy-pants?"

"I'd like us to unpack some stuff today. But whatever. I'm leaving the store now. I'll see you in a bit. I love you."

"I love you too baby. Sorry for yelling at you."

When I got home he came out to help me bring in the groceries. I had to listen to him bitch about buying so much shit, but he certainly didn't complain when I made him a huge breakfast. He occupied his time while I was cooking by deciphering the instruction book (and I do mean book, as in a novel-length piece of literature in multiple languages) for the coffee maker.

"Motherfucker! This makes no goddamn sense! Who the hell writes these things?"

"I think Adrian Monk's brother." He didn't get the reference and I dropped it. Everyone should watch Monk. Whatever.

The rest of the week was spent getting the house ready to live in. We made multiple trips back to his parents' house to get the rest of our stuff, and finally the house looked like someone actually lived in it.

The Thursday before the wedding, Randy picked up steaks to grill. I tried not to laugh at him. Obviously, he's never actually cooked anything. He informed that it was part of his genetic make-up, so of course he could use the grill. I didn't argue.

"So, tomorrow....." I was still un-excited about the party. I gave up on arguing with him about it.

"What about it?" He knew I was nervous about going, but since I wouldn't admit it he wouldn't acknowledge it. He just smirked.

"This is actually really good baby. I'm impressed." I wasn't even lying. He'd done a good job.

"Thank you." He beamed. Then his eyes narrowed. "Are you lying to change the subject?"

"Do I strike you as the kind of person that would care enough to go to that much trouble?"

"Yes."

"Well then, no. I'm not lying. You really did cook it perfectly. You even marinated. I'm honestly impressed. Now tell me the plan for tomorrow." I kissed his fingers and smiled.

"Well, I have to go to the office for a meeting at 10, but I'll be back for lunch. Rehearsal is at 2, then the rehearsal 'dinner' is at 4. Sarah will be here at 6 to help you get dressed to go out. Do you have something to wear?"

"You're such a girl sometimes."

"If you don't have something she deems appropriate, she'll make you wear her stuff. It'll fall off of you probably."

"She's a stick. Her clothes won't fit me!"

"You're smaller than she is baby, but taller. That's why they hate you. Well, that's part of it."

"First of all, the only ones that actually _hate_ me are the ones that used to fuck you, and they hate me because they're not fucking you anymore. I can't believe you're making me go out with your ex that hates me. She's a crazy bitch. It wouldn't surprise me if she tried to poison me or something."

"Ash isn't that bad." I felt a wave of jealousy when he defended her, but I didn't say anything.

"So you're leaving at 7:30 still?"

"Umm.... well....."

I sighed. "What time are you leaving?"

"I'm actually leaving at 5:30, right after we eat. We're going to play a round of golf before we go out. Is that okay?"

"You don't have to ask my permission. I'm not your master. Are you done eating?" He could tell I wasn't happy, but he just nodded. I stood up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for dinner. It was great." I cleared the table and carried the dishes back inside the house to wash. A few minutes later he came in with the grill tools he'd used.

"If you don't want me to go, I won't." He said quietly, setting the blackened cookware in the sink.

"Of course I want you to go." That was a lie. "I know you'll have fun, that's what matters." That's the truth. "Just be careful. If you show up to our wedding damaged in any way, I will beat the hell out of you and every one of your friends." That was the truth too.

"You're mad." Observant isn't he?

"No I'm not." I scrubbed the char off the long-handled cooking utensils and dried them before he said anything else.

"Why are you mad?"

"I'm not mad. I think I'm gonna go change and swim for a while. Wanna come?"

"Sure. I'm sorry. I'm not sure why you're upset, but I'm sorry for being the cause of it."

We changed into swimsuits, and I made sure to wear the tiniest one I had. Well, not the _tiniest_ because that was reserved for our honeymoon and he hadn't seen it yet. He made a semi-growling sound when he saw me and I smirked. We swam and played around in the pool for a while. That whole wait an hour after eating, yeah we didn't really do that. It was fun and relaxing. The pool at night is perfect.

We went to bed and cuddled like always.

"Are you nervous?" He whispered.

"About?"

"About getting married."

"I'm nervous about the wedding, but not about getting married."

"What about... after?"

"Oh... ummm... I dunno. I'm not now, but I probably will be. I mean, it's not like I have any idea what I'm doing, ya know?"

"I doubt you'll have any problems. You just kinda ooze sexy baby."

"You think that because you're in love with me. But thank you anyway."

"I know that, and I've known it since the first time I saw you. Sure, loving you makes it more evident. But remember the first time we went out, and all my friends were drooling over you? That wasn't because they were in love with you."

"Are you nervous?"

"About?"

"About marrying someone who's dying."

"It's... I mean... I love you Ang. I really do. More than I thought I ever would. I mean, arranged marriage? Sounds pathetic, like I can't get my own girl. But I feel like I'll owe my dad forever for bringing you into my life. I want forever with you. I'm not nervous about it, but it scares me. I try to just enjoy the time I have with you. And hopefully I'll be able to do that for a really long time."

"That's what I hope too baby."

"Now, tomorrow night, when you go out with the girls, you better have fun. Dance and let loose. Not too loose, of course." He chuckled into my neck and I giggled. He hadn't shaved and he was scruffy, so it tickled.

"I love it when you're scruffy." I petted his face lightly and he laughed, making me laugh.

"I love it when you laugh."

"I love you so much Randy. Don't get into trouble, okay? Tomorrow."

"I promise. Nothing bad will happen." Famous last words.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapt 14.

Randy and I rode to the rehearsal together. It was pretty straight-forward. Having no friends or close family, the entire wedding party was made up of Randy's friends. I didn't mind. Jack, the original blonde-haired guy from the bar, was walking with Alicia, who was beautiful and quiet and never seemed to actually understand what was going on. Mickie was walking with her boyfriend John, and everyone pretty much wondered what he'd done so great in his past life to land her—she was beautiful, intelligent, kind, and funny. John even marveled at his luck. Mickie seemed to be the only one that was oblivious to the fact that John was definitely dating better than he deserved.

"Ang? Are you okay? You're staring off into space." My dad looked nervous all of a sudden.

"I'm okay dad." I smiled at him and he relaxed a little. He tensed again when the wedding planner informed us we had to walk to the beat of the music, not too fast and not too slow. She wasn't very nice. My dad smiled at me and we started walking along the same path the others had taken.

I didn't understand the point of a rehearsal, to be honest. How much practice does it take to walk a few yards? I certainly didn't understand why everyone looked so teary-eyed. Well, not everyone, but all of the women except me seemed to be fighting tears. When my dad led us around the corner and I saw Ran standing at the other end of the now terribly-long aisle, I felt several things happen at once: my face became one huge smile, my heart started pounding, my dad put his hand on mine, and Ran smirked. The smirk brought me back from the 'I feel like Cinderella finally getting her Prince Charming' feeling and put me instantly in the 'I'm about to marry the biggest smartass on the planet' mindset. I couldn't help but laugh at him though.

My dad handed me off as per the instructions and we did the fake vows—literally the officiate said 'yadda yadda yadda' and added a couple 'blah blah blahs' in for good measure.

"Now Randall, this is your wedding, so don't go trying to make some kind of porn up here tomorrow, okay?" The officiate, Mr. Flair, was a friend of Randy's dad and had known Ran for a long time. His comment didn't even faze Ran, though I felt my face getting hotter.

"Then maybe we should practice, huh Ric?" Ran winked at the man and then grabbed me and bent me over to kiss me, much like that photo of the sailor kissing the nurse on D-day. I couldn't even form words when he sent me upright. "How was that? Too much?" He winked at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Is it too late to change my mind?" I smiled sweetly at him and he feigned a gasp.

"Okay, well after you kiss, you turn around to see everyone, then you walk back around to enter at the front of the building for the reception. After that point, if you need me, check the bar." Ric laughed and clapped Randy on the shoulder. "Congrats boy. I'm proud of ya." He smiled and walked away as Ran 'practiced' walking me back down the aisle.

"Are you okay babe? You look a little... pale." He spoke quietly with a concern-laced voice.

"If you kiss me like that tomorrow in front of everyone I will never forgive you."

"Yes you will. But I'd never do that to you. You think I'd try to ruin your wedding? Not my style. But I do have something to discuss with you." He jerked me into a small room around the corner and shoved the door closed behind us. Before I could even question his actions, he crushed his lips to mine.

"Ran..." I finally pulled my lips from his, and all I could manage was to whisper his name against his perfectly delicious lips.

"I love you Angel. I've never wanted anything more in my life, than I want to be your husband." I looked up into his eyes and started crying. "Oh God baby, what's wrong? Don't cry. Baby? Ang? Oh shit. I'm sorry." He hugged me and I pulled myself together.

"Sorry. I'm okay. Really. I'm fine." I stood on my toes to kiss him and he held my face gently while we kissed slowly in the dark in a tiny room that could have had hidden bodies in it but was more likely just some sort of storage room.

The banging on the door interrupted the most sensual kiss I've ever imagined, let alone experienced, and Randy cursed quietly. He kissed me once more and jerked the door open. "What the hell?" The camera flashes going off made me hide my face in his chest.

"God you two are pathetic. Come on, time to go eat and start the pre-party drinking." John winked and laughed before pulling Mickie along out the door.

The rehearsal dinner was laid back and informal, relatively speaking. Randy and I sat at a table with John and Mickie, Phil and his girlfriend Maria, and Alicia and her date Jake. The food was great, though I didn't eat much, and I was actually thankful for John's loudness that distracted Randy from noticing how little I'd eaten. It didn't escape Mickie, but she didn't say anything. There were a few stories about Ran and I as kids, and a completely embarrassing slide-show of pictures of us growing up, somehow put together like we'd actually grown up together. It was cute actually. Most of the women cried and most of the men laughed.

As planned, the whole thing disbanded at 5:30 on the dot. I tried to keep smiling but I knew I was doing a shitty job of that. Ran looked hesitant to leave me.

"Ang? Are you okay? I don't have to—"

"Like hell you don't have to go! Come on! We're going to miss tee time!" I didn't look to see who'd yelled, but it sounded like a drunken John. Have I ever seen him sober?

"I'm fine. Go ahead before they have me flogged or something. Be careful." I smiled the best smile I could muster, and though he didn't exactly believe me he walked away.

"I love you Ang! Have fun!" He blew me a kiss and I actually smiled a real smile.

"I love you too. Don't get arrested!" He laughed and then he was gone, along with the smile.

"Okay, let's go. Time to get ready to party!' Mickie appeared from who knows where and forced me into her car. She drove like a crazy person, talking on her phone the entire time.

She parked in the circular driveway in front of our house and I sighed.

"Angel? Are you going to act like this all night? You think he's sulking like this?"

"I know he is. He's just better at hiding it." I sighed again.

"You're right. But come on, if he can pretend to be happy then so can you, right? He'll be pissed if you don't have fun. Please try. I promise Maryse won't be a total bitch." I laughed at that, an honest real laugh and she did too. "Okay, so she'll be a total bitch, but who cares? Come show me the house. I haven't seen it yet."

After giving her the tour of the house, she forced me into the bedroom to get ready. She pulled a tiny black dress from my closet and held it up, but she decided against it. She dug around a bit more and found an equally tiny bubblegum pink tube-top dress with sliver sparkles all over it. God, when did I buy that? She curled my hair and forced me to put on the ridiculous dress, making me look like hooker Barbie. She seemed pleased with herself. Then she dug in her huge purse and handed me a small box wrapped in bright green paper with a purple ribbon tied around it.

"I think I'm supposed to give _you_ the present." I said with a confused look on my face. She smiled.

"Yes you are, and it better be a good one. But this is for you for tonight. It's not that big a deal, hardly worth wrapping actually, but you know how it is. Just open it and find some shoes. I need to get ready." She flittered off and I sat down in a chair to open the box. I smiled when I saw it. A bright pink digital camera. At least I'd match.

"Thank you." I said quietly.

"That's what friends are for. I mean, everyone will have a camera tonight, but I figured you might want to take some pictures yourself. I made John promise to take some pics of their shenanigans as well. It'll look good in the album, ya know. Besides, when you have kids, they're going to want to see the crazy shit their parents used to do." She smiled at me through the mirror she was using to touch up her make-up. I kept smiling, ignoring the whole kids thing. That's one thing that'll never happen. Not unless I happen to get a new heart, which is highly unlikely.

Mickie was about to do my make-up when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" I jumped up quickly and she laughed. She let me go though, so she could finish doing something to her already perfect hair. I walked slowly down the stairs, barefoot, and made it to the door before it rang a third time. I opened it and was nearly bowled over by the crowd of people that came barreling in. Fuck.

"Oh sorry Angel." Maryse. Bitch. I flashed her my flawless fake smile and she responded the same way. She did the air kisses thing at me and I tried not to gag. Kelly was there, scowling at me like Maryse normally did. I couldn't even care. There were several other girls there, mostly girlfriends that matched Randy's friends. Alicia was there too, but she was genuinely happy to be there. She hugged me warmly and pulled me back up the stairs, leaving the rest of them to do who knows what. It made me a little nervous actually, them being in my house unsupervised.

"I can't believe she's being such a bitch already." Alicia mumbled as soon as we were in the bedroom. Of course, I had to show her which door it was, but whatever.

"I can't believe you're surprised." I laughed. She shrugged and laughed too. Then she started doing my make-up while Sarah dug in my closet for my shoes.

A few minutes later there was a shout from downstairs, indicating that the limo was there. I groaned but painted on a smile, while Alicia and Mickie grabbed my arms and led me down the stairs. Let the games begin.

The first stop was a pretty laid back bar, where we did a few rounds of shots. I pulled out my phone to check the time and was surprised to see a text message.

_He may be marrying you but he's still fucking me.__  
_

Wow. Before I could decide whether or not to respond to the unknown number that sent the pathetic message, I got another text.

_I know they'll kill me if they catch me texting you, but I miss you. I love you baby. Be careful. XOXOX__  
_

I smiled stupidly and before I could respond to Randy, my phone was jerked from my hand.

"No phones! Awww! He's so cute!" Mickie was buzzed pretty well already, so she was really into the whole 'love' thing. Everything was adorable to her.

"He's also unbelievably hot. God Angel you're so lucky. Sex with that Adonis of a man every night. God I need a man to play with." Then she flittered off. Candice. She's nice enough, I guess. I forget how she fits into the group. In fact, that might not even be her name. Hmm.

"Yes Angel, how _are_ you getting along with Randy? He used to like rough sex, but I guess he's had to give that up for you hasn't he?" Maryse smiled her perfect smile, and it occurred to me that there was no difference in her normal smile and her blatantly fake smile. That fact, along with the alcohol, made me laugh. She misunderstood the laughter. "Have you even slept with him?"

"God Maryse stop being such a bitch. Get over it. He dumped you like the $2 whore you are. Shut up already. Let's go! Next stop!" Mickie wouldn't have said those things to her face if she'd been sober. But I wasn't complaining.

Two bars later, I was lit. I didn't even bother to argue anymore, I just went where I was told. I checked the time and it was nearly midnight. I was tired but I knew it wouldn't do me any good to try to get out of this stupid 'party' early. I was pretty content to sit at the bar and pretend to people watch, but I was distracted by several screeches coming in familiar voices. I looked around to see all the members of my bachelorette party fawning over members of Randy's bachelor party. I looked around again in confusion. What the hell.

Then I felt his breath on my neck. "You look so fucking hot babe." He kissed my bare shoulder and I melted against him. When his teeth grazed my skin I shivered.

"Hey! Knock that off! You're not supposed to see her tonight!" We both looked up to see who was interrupting us, and I scowled instantly.

"Maryse you fucking bitch! Get lost!" I screamed at her. She froze in shock. I'd been so polite all evening, just taking all of her snide comments and insults like they were in a language I didn't understand. Ran's grip on my waist tightened.

"Ang? What's going on?" He was looking from me to Maryse in confusion, and of course she acted like she had no idea why I'd just exploded on her.

"What's Maryse's number?" I asked, rage still dripping from my every movement. Randy pulled out his phone and scrolled through it to get to her number. Before he said anything, I pulled out my phone and read the number that sent me the evil text.

"Yeah, that's her number. Why? What's going on?"

"She hasn't tried to poison my drink yet, but..." I showed him the text and his face turned into business, enraged Randy as soon as he read it. I had to grab him to keep him from exploding. Maryse looked honestly afraid. Maybe she's not as dumb as she looks. "Mickie! John!" I yelled out as loud as I could to be heard over the music. Maryse hadn't moved and Randy was glaring at her.

"Ran, baby, it's almost midnight. Come dance with me before it turns into our wedding day, okay? Please baby?"He looked down at me and his face softened.

"Okay. Come on." He pulled me out to where everyone else was already dancing and dry-humping each other. As soon as we got out there though, the song switched to a slow one. Ran buried his face in my hair and held me tightly against his body while we swayed to the music. I had my face in his shoulder, inhaling his scent blissfully. "I love you so much Ang. I'm sorry Ash has been such a fucking bitch."

"It's fine babe. I love saying 'I told you so' anyway." I smiled and he kissed me. When the music changed to a lame rap song, we didn't change anything. We were still swaying, probably to the rhythm of our heartbeats, and kissing slowly. It wasn't exactly a PG dance scene, but it wasn't porn-worthy either. We probably would have continued that way indefinitely, except someone yanked Randy away from me. He was about to swing his fist until he noticed it was John.

"Come on Angel, we're leaving. They'll all look hot no matter how little sleep they get, but we have to get up early. Goodnight boys." Mickie grabbed my hand to pull me toward the door, but I yanked away and grabbed Randy for one more kiss. It wasn't as polite as the kiss that had been interrupted, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Holy Christ. Get a fucking room already!" Trey rolled his eyes.

"Fine with me!" Randy said with a wink. I rolled my eyes that time, but I blew him a kiss as Mickie yanked me away. The limo dropped us all off at my house, and I went to bed immediately, not caring what happened to the rest of them. Mickie and Alicia were staying with me anyway, so the rest of them were on their own. They mostly just waited around downstairs, gossiping until they were sober enough to drive themselves home.

"I'm sorry you didn't have fun tonight Angel." Mickie whispered as she was about to go sleep in one of the guest rooms.

"I did have fun Mickz. I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't. I just... never mind, it won't make sense."

"No, tell me. Try me." Mickie seemed to genuinely want to be my friend, but I didn't want her to know about the heart thing.

"It's not just about me loving him. I feel more alive when I'm with him. Every single happy moment of my entire life relates to him. I appreciate the effort you made for me tonight, I really do, but fun without Randy just seems so... impossible."

"He seems to feel the same thing about you. Good night." She waved her hand slightly before closing the door quietly.

God. I hope she's not right about him. He's going to be without me very soon. I just know it.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapt 15.

I can't believe I just got married. Randy looks perfect in his tux, of course. And he hasn't stopped smiling since he saw me turn the corner. He didn't even stop smiling when he kissed me. I haven't stopped smiling either. Two people smiling hugely like idiots, trying to kiss, is a comical scene I'm sure.

"Are you ready Mrs. Orton?" His smile seemed to be larger when he called me by my new name. God, I'm married. Before I could respond though, he was whisking me onto the dance floor to dance the first dance while everyone we know stood around us smiling. We danced to _Young at Heart_, and we stared into each other's eyes, completely oblivious to the people around us.

Randy chose all the music, so when the DJ started playing the Hokey Pokey for the bridal party dance, I nearly tripped laughing. It started out just the bridal party, but it ended up everyone in the room. Even my grandmother did it. Seeing her so happy made me nearly cry, but I fought off the tears. I didn't want to cry today. I'm her only granddaughter, and like my parents she's been just dying along with me for as long as I've known her. Not today though. Today, everyone's happy.

We danced every combination of parents and grandparents, and we danced with most of our friends. I saw Ashley trying to dance with Ran as I was being pulled away to dance with Stephan the redhead. I laughed when I saw him blatantly diss her to dance with one of the girlfriends. Ashley looked pissed, which made it more enjoyable.

We posed for millions of pictures. We ate dinner. We danced. We smashed cake into each other's faces. We drank, a lot. We toasted. We danced more. At the end of the night, Randy pulled me out the door to the waiting limo, through a tunnel of millions of bubbles and loud cheers from our friends and family.

"Fuck. I'm so goddamn tired. Shit." He pulled me into his lap and kissed me. It was a sweet, loving kiss. At first. Then it was hardcore panting and moaning and hands everywhere and…. The limo stopped in front of a hotel. Randy pulled me out before the driver could come open the door. He led me to the elevator, stuck a keycard in the slot, and pushed me against the wall of the elevator to kiss me. My stomach flipped a little when the elevator came to a stop. When the door opened, Ran grabbed my hand and pulled me along to a door that he unlocked with the same keycard. He opened the door and I stepped in, instantly shocked by what I saw.

"Ran…" I could barely speak above a whisper. The room was huge but simple like most hotel rooms, except it was full of hundreds of lighted white candles and at least as many deep red giant daisies.

"You like it?" He whispered in my ear.

"It's amazing. You're amazing." I smiled up at him and he kissed me. I turned in his arms to press my chest against his. "I love you so much."

"I love you too baby." He kissed me again and dragged me toward the bed. The kissing was interrupted by a light knock on the door. He pulled away to answer the door, and I started pulling out the bobby pins that were jammed into my hair. After a few minutes, Randy came back with a cart of food.

"What's that?"

"Christ babe, how many pins are in your hair?"

"At least a million I think. What's on the cart?" I kept pulling out the pins, wincing when I pulled out hair with them, and Randy lifted the silver lids to show the food underneath. The giant chocolate-covered strawberries instantly caught my eyes. There was also a chilled bottle of champagne, which Randy opened and poured for me just as I pulled out the last (hopefully) pin in my hair, letting my hair fall onto my shoulders.

"You're so beautiful." Randy looked… drunk. He probably was. We were probably both drunk. But he had a dopey grin on his face that just made me smile more.

"I want to take a long hot shower. But, given that I just got married, I don't really want to shower alone… Know anyone that would be willing to get wet with me?" I winked and he smirked. I turned my back to him so he could unzip my big poofy dress, which fell to the floor in a pile at my feet. I looked like I was standing in the middle of a huge fluffy cloud. Randy groaned when he saw the lacy lingerie I'd worn under my dress. He leaned down to kiss my bare shoulder, running his hands along my stomach and chest. I moaned in response. I turned to face him, pulling his coat off and tossing it on a chair. I untied his tie and used it to pull myself closer to him to kiss his delicious lips. I stepped out of the cloud and pulled Randy toward the bathroom, unbuttoning his shirt on the way.

Taking a hot shower with my ridiculously hot husband was a definite turn-on, but I didn't want my first time to be in a hotel shower. So it just turned into an extremely tantalizing foreplay session. Randy carried me to the bed, both of us still wet. I didn't know what to expect, but let me just say this. Sex with my husband is fucking AMAZING. God. I can now completely understand why the whores were so pissed at me for taking him from them.

So, I didn't want my first time to be in a shower. But I didn't mind my third, or was it the fourth? How does one count these things anyway? After the shower, we both collapsed on the bed. Completely exhausted in the best way.

"Angel? Baby it's time to get up. We have to leave in 45 minutes. Airport." I mumbled something incoherent and he chuckled. "I love watching you sleep. But baby we have to go."

I had no idea where we were going til we got to the airport and went to a gate that said New York. After drinking more champagne on the plane, I fell asleep on Randy's shoulder while he read something that didn't appeal to me enough to care what it was. I woke up when the plane was descending to land.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty." He kissed my forehead and I smiled. Ya know how people say things like 'I could die right now and be happy' or whatever? Well, I could live in this exact moment forever and be eternally happy.

"Well I wouldn't need to sleep if _someone_ hadn't kept me awake all night." I feigned annoyance but he just smirked.

"I don't seem to remember any complaints. I recall hearing 'oh my God baby' and several 'oh Ran don't stop's and more than one instance of 'oh fuck oh God oh God oh God.' I even distinctively remember 'Randy oh God harder please baby oh God.' But I don't remember any complaints. Unless you count when I had to actually rest. Your stamina is quite impressive sweetheart." He smirked and nibbled on my ear playfully.

"Smartass." That was all I could say. He wasn't wrong. He smiled at me and kissed me sweetly on the lips. "I don't care if you're a jerk though. You're my jerk. And I love you."

"Jerk? I don't think you're supposed to call your husband a jerk on your honeymoon. I'll have to check the rules and get back to you on that."

"Yeah you do that." I closed my eyes while we landed and taxied to the gate. Randy looked like he was about to explode out of his seat.

We took a cab from the airport, and Randy explained that the cab was part of the whole experience, but we wouldn't be getting in another one. I laughed at how disgusted he was by it. Snob. We went to the hotel to drop off our bags before going to wander around doing tourist crap. I left my phone in the hotel so I had no concept of time. After a while, Randy made us go back to the hotel to get ready to go out, though I had no idea where we were going until the car pulled up in front of a theater that said _Wicked the Musical_ on the marquee. I squealed like one of the little girls that worship Hannah Montana. Randy just chuckled.

We spent two more nights in New York, and saw two plays on Broadway. We also went to a couple museums and had A LOT of sex. Honestly, I don't know why the people in the rooms next to ours weren't complaining to the management or something.

We left New York and flew to Venice. I fell in love with Venice, and it was hard to leave. But a week later we were dropped off at home, both ridiculously tired from the most amazing honeymoon trip. We'd both dozed off in the car on the way from the airport, and we drowsily stumbled up the stairs to get in the bed, stripping as we went, not caring about our clothes being scattered through the house.

"I love you so very much Lauren Orton." Randy mumbled into my hair as we fell asleep. I mumbled a similar response, too tired to form clearly coherent words.

We woke up at noon to the sound of someone having a seizure while pressing our doorbell. I pulled the pillow over my head but it didn't drown out the hideous sound.

"What the fuck?!" Randy was grumpy and tired and pissed. The seizuring doorbell-ringer didn't seem to care, choosing to continue to press the button like it would somehow magically force the door to open itself out of sheer annoyance.

"Sleep." I wasn't quite as loquacious after being jerked from my wonderful sleep and my more wonderful dreams of my husband.

"Who the fuck is bothering us the day we get back from our fucking honeymoon? Fuck!" He threw the sheets off and wrapped himself in a robe as he went downstairs. I sighed and got up to put my robe on as well. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs, shocked and amused by the scene playing out in front of me.

"Mother what the fuck are you thinking trying to break our goddamn doorbell?! What the fuck are you doing here?!" Randy was pissed and didn't care who he was yelling at.

"Randall Orton! Watch your language!" Elaine chided him, obviously clueless as to why he was so irate.

"No! I will not fucking watch my language Mom! Are you insane?! What are you doing here?!"

"Randy, the party is in 4 days, and there so much to do!"

"Mom, are you fucking kidding me? You woke us up the day we came home from our honeymoon, to talk about a goddamn party?!" He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"Woke you up? Son, it's after noon! This is a big deal, and…" Her voice trailed off when she noticed the clothes we'd shed on the way to bed last night, or this morning I guess. I bit my lip to keep from laughing at her shocked expression.

"Why didn't you call Mom? For fuck's sake!"

"I have called several times, and there was no answer."

"And you didn't take that as maybe an indication that we weren't ready for visitors? Go away Mom. We just got home this morning, and we're exhausted. Come back tomorrow or something."

"Randy, whether you care about this or not, you need to take this serious. We didn't buy you a house for you to turn it into a sex house."

"Mom, I know this may be shocking to you, but I'm not a goddamn virgin. Especially after the past week and a half. I just got married. To a ridiculously hot woman who loves me. What exactly do you think we've been doing since we left the reception? I'll tell you. We've been fucking like rabbits. And we'd be doing that right now if you weren't here!" Randy was completely livid now, and Elaine seemed to be turning green and shrinking smaller and smaller. "Now, if you're going to throw this house in our faces every time we don't do something you expect us to do, or if you're going to act like you can come over here and do whatever the hell you want just because you bought the house, well I can fix that real fucking fast Mom. Angel, baby, go upstairs and get dressed and pack your clothes. We're leaving." He glared at his mom for a moment, and he didn't seem to be kidding, so I just started up the stairs, and he started walking toward me.

"Wait! What?!" Elaine was completely gob-smacked.

"We'll go stay at a hotel or get an apartment or whatever til we find out own house. You wanted me to grow up. You and Dad thought I was such a royal fuck-up, you arranged a fucking marriage for me. I'm 22 fucking years old. But I went along with it without throwing a fit. And yeah, as it turns out, I ended up with the perfect wife. But it's not because you planned it that way. I've done everything expected of me, and it's still not fucking good enough. I'm done with it. I'm married now for fuck's sake! I have a wife to take care of. And I'm going to take care of her my way. Now, you can fucking leave, right now, and _call_ tomorrow to work out some time to talk about this party, or you can go help yourself to anything in the kitchen while we pack our shit. Your call." Ran wrapped his arm around my waist and stared at his mom.

Elaine stared at her son, shocked into silence. Then her eyes narrowed on his arm around me. I shifted uncomfortably. I guess she doesn't like me as much as she used to. But her face softened after a minute.

"I'm sorry. I was only trying to help. I know you think these parties are stupid, and your father thinks I make too big a deal out of them. But the truth is, when you're married to someone that's important in a multi-billion dollar company, everything is scrutinized. Everything. In 4 days, when your normally pleasant home is taken over by strange men in suits and their uppity wives, it will on the surface look like a 'welcome to the family that this company is' kind of thing, but in reality it will be those suited men trying to determine if you're a threat to their job Randy, or if they have a chance to sleep with you Lauren. The women will be trying to determine the best way to sleep with you son, and they'll be trying to find every flaw in you Lauren. And believe me, they'll find them. If they don't find a flaw, they'll make one up. And Randall, son, I love you, but you'll be oblivious to it all. All of it. It will look pleasant enough to you. But you Lauren, you're very smart. You'll see it all. It will be a room of people that treat you like that catty Ashley girl. And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you this before, but I didn't want to add more stress to you before the wedding."

"Mom, I know you mean well, but—"

"No, Randy, your mom's the expert on these things. Elaine, I know you know everyone I need to contact about all of this, and several things have been set up already, but I absolutely cannot deal with this today. We just got home, this morning, and we have a lot to do to settle in. Why don't you come by tomorrow for lunch, and we'll finalize everything, okay?"

"Okay. 12:30, since noon seems to be a difficult time for you two." Elaine smirked and I stifled a giggle. Randy grumbled under his breath. She waved slightly and left without another word. Randy sighed.

"My mom's kinda crazy, but I doubt she's wrong about those people."

"You're so hot when you're yelling at someone. Fuck." I grabbed his robe and pulled him closer to kiss him. He untied my robe as I ran my fingers along his stomach. He moaned into the kiss and I smiled. He put his arm around my waist and laid me down on the stairs gently. We couldn't be bothered to go all the way to our bed.

How ironic that we've been 'fucking like rabbits' according to Randy, but we've still not had sex in our bed. I'm sure that won't be true for long.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapt 16.

Elaine was ringing the doorbell at exactly 12:30. Randy sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes as he went to answer the door. I just laughed and finished cutting the stuff for the salad. Elaine seemed genuinely surprised that I'd actually made lunch, but I didn't say anything.

Randy miraculously had an emergency to deal with for his dad at the office, and he bolted from the house as soon as lunch was over and he kissed me goodbye. He did manage to dump his plate in the sink on his way out and I scowled at him.

"That's an improvement. I wasn't even sure he knew that dishes got used more than once." Elaine chuckled and I smiled at her as I cleared the rest of the dishes. I wanted to tell her that he just acts over-protective of me, but I just let it go.

We went into the study to finish the party planning. Elaine had a book of stuff with her with notes and numbers, and she was surprised that I had one as well. Randy came home six hours later, and Elaine and I were still planning things. By the time Elaine left at 9, everything was done. Ran picked up Chinese food for us for dinner and we fell asleep on the couch watching movies.

Three days later, the house turned into total chaos. Elaine had arrived at 6 in the morning with a giant cup of coffee for me, and she didn't stop smiling even when Randy ranted a list of curse words that would make a pirate blush.

"Randall dear, just go back to sleep. You need to be rested for tonight anyway." Elaine cooed. I smirked at Ran's reaction to her sugary sweetness.

"Mother don't tell me what to do in my own house!" He snapped and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Babe, it's fine. We have a lot to do today and I'm going to need your help, but not yet. She's right. Just go back upstairs and sleep for a while longer, okay?" I kissed his cheek and he wrapped me in a hug. I almost forgot the chaos around us, lost in the warmth of my husband. He buried his face in my neck and nuzzled me with his nose. I nearly fainted, and my knees buckled slightly. I felt him smirk against my skin. "I love you baby. Now get lost so I can finish perfecting this house for your annoying co-workers."

"K. Come get me when you need me. Bye Mom." And he went back to bed without argument.

The rest of the morning was spent directing decorators and caterers and florists. Randy came down and got some food but he just got annoyed with all the people moving around, so when Ted called him to go play golf he leapt at the opportunity. He came back just as Elaine was leaving to go get ready for the party.

"Like father like son, Randall dear. Your lovely wife has done everything and you're going to get all of the credit. Lauren, you're wonderful. I'll see you both in a couple of hours." Elaine kissed us both and left, scrutinizing one of the bows ties on the banisters of the stairs.

Ran dragged me up the stairs 'to get ready' but we didn't make it past the bed. He was sweaty and gross from playing golf, and it turned me on so much we actually barely made it past the stairs.

The doorbell rang as I was finishing my hair. Ran grumbled but went to answer it, his tie hanging untied around his neck. A few moments later he reappeared with his tie tied and a grimace on his face.

"What's wrong? Who was that?" I didn't know the exact time, but I knew whoever it was was early. The downstairs was full of waiters and caterers and bartenders and....

"Mom and Dad are here. Mom insisted on tying my tie and it's fucking choking me and I hate this goddamn knot. No one knots ties like this anymore."

"Then retie it. Duh." I kissed his cheek lightly and wiped the lipstick off as I passed him to get my shoes. He retied his tie and I put my shoes on, and we walked back down the stairs.

Elaine scowled at Randy's tie and I smiled. She nodded in approval at my appearance then she disappeared into the kitchen to berate some poor caterer. Bob reacted more warmly and he wrapped me in a huge hug.

"You look lovely Angel. Son, let me give you some advice. Always have a drink in your hand, but don't get drunk, and if someone comments on the party give your wife all the credit. And Angel, stay as close to Randy as you can dear. He'll be distracted if he's looking for you all night." He hugged me again and went off to rescue whatever waiter Elaine was assaulting for a poorly tied tie.

Two hours later, the house was packed full of people. Randy took his father's advice, and he had a drink in his hand all night. I stood dutifully at his side, holding onto his arm like the trophy wife they all assumed I was. Several wives were openly gawking at him and it surprised me, considering the age difference for most of them. Then again, I doubted any of them had seen him before and let's face it—my husband is the epitome of hotness. We wandered around the party, mingling and talking to all the people that technically worked for Randy.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Orton?" It took me a moment to realize I was the 'Mrs. Orton' being addressed. I turned and smiled as politely as I could, noticing a timid-looking waitress with an empty tray pressed against her chest.

"Excuse me, will you?" I kissed Randy's cheek and walked toward the kitchen with the tiny girl with the tray. "What's the problem? And thank you, by the way. I'm starving." I grabbed a... well, I have no idea what I grabbed but I crammed it in my mouth and waited for an explanation.

"Yes, well, umm... Mrs. Orton.... err... the other Mrs. Orton... umm..."

"Spit it out. I need to get back out there. What about the other Mrs. Orton?"

"She told me to inform you that we're out of champagne." She blurted out quickly. Great. Okay, think.

"Okay. You stay right here and don't move. I'll be back in a moment." I took a deep breath and went out to find Randy, who looked horribly bored and annoyed. "Pardon me but I need to steal my husband for just a moment." I flashed my brightest smile to the gray-haired man and his significantly younger very blonde wife that was checking out Randy while her chubby husband droned on. They both smiled at me fakely and Ran kissed my cheek and excused himself.

"What's wrong babe?" He kissed my cheek and wrapped his arm around my waist as I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the kitchen. As soon as the door closed behind us he pulled me against his chest and kissed me so passionately I melted into him. "God you're so hot." He whispered against my lips. I smiled but then pulled away when the tiny waitress cleared her throat. "Oh right. What's wrong? This party sucks. I thought they were bad when I was just a guest, but this whole host thing is torture."

"We're out of champagne and I need to use your phone to call Ted to go get more and bring it here immediately." The words rushed out and he frowned.

"I had to stick a case in pantry. Is it gone?" He walked to the pantry and glanced in. "It's still here, but we'll need another case at least. I'll message Ted and tell him to bring it through the back. You," he turned to the tiny girl who was gawking at him, "Deal with the case that's in the pantry, and when my friend comes direct him where to put the cases he brings." He used the business voice on her and she looked afraid of him. I felt bad for her.

"Ran..." I touched his arm and he relaxed the tension that had built up in his body. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Let's go."He wrapped his arm around my waist and we went back out to the party. We didn't get far.

"Oh Angel you have to tell us who did the decorating! And you just came back from Venice didn't you? Tell us _all_ about it!" The same young blonde woman pulled me away from Randy to join a group of wives that didn't include anyone I recognized. Radny was pulled away by Bob who didn't even bother to look at me.

"Umm, Randy and I did our own decorating, unless you mean for the party tonight." I couldn't comprehend why they'd care, and I tried to find Randy in the crowd.

"Oh hunnie we don't really care about—" The young brunette was cut off by a look from the blonde, who turned to look at me with a perfect bright smile.

"I think Eve means we're much more interested in your trip. You just got back right?"

"Yes, we got back a few days ago. It was a great trip." I smiled slightly as images of our trip flashed through my mind.

"Did you even get to see any of the city? I doubt I'd _ever_ leave if I was married to _that_." They all giggled but I struggled to keep from scowling at them. The blonde must have noticed my discomfort, and she smirked slightly.

"Yes, we saw quite a bit of the city. It's beautiful. Ran planned the entire trip. It was amazing." I smiled a real smile, remembering again. I glanced up and saw the same timid waitress standing at the door of the kitchen. "Excuse me please." I smiled gently at them and went back to the kitchen. Ted had already dropped off the extra cases of champagne, but the girl, who was probably my age, had found another two cases. Oh well, at least we have plenty. I knew I'd ordered enough. I thanked her for her diligence and went back to the party. I was standing to the side, looking for Randy, when I heard the gossip that Elaine warned me would come.

"He's so hot! I can't believe he's married to _her_! She's so... skinny."

"Maybe there's something wrong with him. I mean, if you were married to him, would you be concerned about actually seeing Venice? I'd have jumped him before we could even get to the airport."

"There must be some reason he married her. He's so young."

"Yeah, he's a terrible lay and no one else would marry him?"

"Look at him. He's a god. There's no way he's not amazing in bed."

"I'll be sure to let you know." I actually took notice of who said that. Of course, the blonde. Ugh. If looks could kill I would have just murdered her. Before I could decide whether or not to say anything, I heard my name being called. I looked in the direction of the voice and saw Ran trying to get my attention. I smiled at him and went to join him.

The other part of Elaine's warning—old men leering at me. Great. I kept the smile painted on my face and clung to Randy's arm while he talked with several men that openly stared at my chest. Randy pulled his arm from my tightening grip and put it around my waist. I could hear the tension in his voice. He wouldn't be able to be polite for long, and I didn't want him to get in trouble with the people he works with.

"Lauren, you look lovely. Did you enjoy your trip to Venice? Bob said you two were in Venice for your honeymoon." I was surprised at how everyone seemed to be interested in our honeymoon. I raised an eyebrow in surprise and Randy scowled. Then it occurred to me that everyone was interested in our sex life because theirs must be awful. I smiled widely.

"Thank you. Yes, we had a great time. The hotel was beautiful." I smiled sweetly and looked up at Randy, who was smirking. He leaned over and kissed my jaw and whisper in my ear.

"I love you. I want these people out of our house." He groaned quietly in my ear and I smiled. The men watching us shifted their weight and smirked.

Elaine and Bob came to rescue us from the creepy men, but I felt them watching my ass as we walked away. Elaine pulled me away to go talk to someone, leaving Randy and Bob chatting with a young guy that had just started working for the company. Evan maybe?

Elaine and Mrs. Rhodes were talking about some charity event they had attended, and I was nodding along but not really paying attention. I was watching the blonde who was currently flirting with Randy. It was impressive actually. She worked very quickly. I hadn't been gone for more than five minutes before she sauntered over to him and began chatting. Evan gawked at her briefly but then Bob and Evan walked away, leaving Randy alone with her. I kept watching as she gently touched his arm repeatedly. They laughed together at something she said, but he looked nervous. I smiled at his nervousness. Every now and then he darted his eyes around, obviously looking for a way to escape her. But she was very good. I don't know what she said when she whispered in his ear, but she looked ill when she followed him up the stairs where the party was _not_ supposed to be. I watched them for a moment and excused myself to go after them.

"How's that?"

"Oh Randy that feels sooo good."

"I'm glad." He sounded uncomfortable.

I peeked through the crack in the bathroom door, and Ran was holding a wet cloth against the back of her neck and she was sitting on the vanity with her legs apart and nearly around Ran's waist.

"You know, I've always known you were a sweetheart. When everyone talked about how much of a player you were, I always knew they were wrong. Of course you're amazingly hot too." She was slurring her words slightly, but it was obviously a fake slur.

"Umm... Michelle, if you're feeling better we should go back down to the party. I haven't spent nearly enough time with my wife tonight." I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Yes, Lauren is such a sweet girl." I kept watching as she actually wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled her dress up more. I felt my blood pressure going up and I wanted to beat her skull in, but I waited for his reaction, amused by his obvious tension, but less than thrill with her obvious sluttiness.

"Yes, she has her moments of sweetness. She also has her moments of violence. And if you don't get your hands off of me you'll be seeing one of those moments. Angel, come in here right now before this bitch gets a black eye." She'd moved her hands up to fondle his chest and his eyes narrowed in anger.

"Yes baby? Did you call me?" I said as sweetly as I could. He glared at me for a moment in disbelief and I smiled. The blonde—Michelle, apparently—glared at me evilly.

"Michelle was just leaving." Ran pulled her down to her feet and shoved her out the door. "Goodbye Michelle." I smiled and closed the door behind her. Ran reached behind me and locked it, and before I could even comment he picked me up and slammed me against the bathroom door.

Michelle heard us. She had to have heard us. I hoped she heard us. The rest of the party wouldn't have heard us, but unless she actually ran down the stairs she definitely heard us. The thought turned me on more and I didn't even care that the entire first floor of our house was full of people that work with Randy. Apparently, he didn't care either.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapt 17.

I never expected it to happen, but I just celebrated my 21st birthday with a huge party that took our entire house and yard. We've been married for more than a year, and our life is so much more than I ever imagined it would be.

In the past year and a half, I've gotten very close to Randy's friends, and now I consider them _our_ friends. Some of them probably like me more than him actually. I also feel very close to Elaine and Bob. Sure, I've gotten closer to my parents as well, and they adore Randy like everyone else that meets him, but they still act like they can only see my funeral every time they look at my face.

What a difference a few years makes, too, in the medical field. The last time I tried to take any of the immunosuppressant drugs was about 5 years ago, and it went very badly. That was when they decided the chances of me getting a new heart were slim. In fact, the only reason I'd taken those drugs was because they had a matching heart for me, so I started taking the drugs and my body reacted violently to the meds. They gave the heart destined for me, to the next person with the rarest blood type known to man. It had been more than a decade since the last time that blood type heart came up on the list, so I wasn't holding out much hope. But then my cardiologist made me try out some of the newest drugs, just in case a heart came up. The meds didn't have any kind of negative effect, thank goodness, so Randy got really excited. I smiled along with him and pretended to be excited, but I wasn't really. I mean, yes, I want a heart that will let me stay with him forever, but I know better than to hope for things that will in all likelihood never come.

So that brings me to why I'm here now, sitting in a chair in a freezing cold doctor's office.

"Angel, you're not feeling well?" Dr. Carlson was a sweet old man that looked very tired all the time. But he never acted tired, and he never tried to rush away from me.

"Doc, to be honest, I don't feel that bad, just a little more tired than normal. And I've been pretty nauseated for the past week or so, but when I actually started puking... well, you know how Ran is. He had a fit to make me come today, and I had to force him not to cancel his meetings."

"You've been taking the Metalderol?"

"Well, I'm out of it, but yeah I took it as I was supposed to. I mean, it was just a trial run anyway, right?"

"Yes, well.... when did you finish taking it?" He looked down at my chart and I pulled out my personal planner calendar to check the dates.

"I finished it about 5 weeks ago, and I was on it for 3 weeks before that." His face twisted slightly and it made me uncomfortable. "What's the problem Doc? I just have some kind of stomach virus right? I mean, I've been off the immunosuppressant long enough for my normal immune system to kick in, right?"

"When was your last menstrual cycle Angel?" His question caught me off guard.

"Umm... I don't...." I started flipping through my calendar. "I don't know. It's not particularly regular anyway, you know. Why?"

"You're still taking the birth control pills?"

"Yes, every morning."

"When you started taking the Metalderol, did they tell you anything about drug interactions?"

"No..." He was really freaking me out. "Doc, what's the problem? Do I need to be as freaked out as you're making me?"

"Sorry. I think we need to run a pregnancy test Angel." I saw his mouth moving, but after 'pregnancy test' I didn't hear anything. "Angel?"

"Yes. Sorry. Pregnancy? I can't be pregnant."

"Did you use some other form of birth control while you were on the Metalderol? Did they not tell you that there was evidence that it could interact with your birth control pills?" I shook my head, unable to actually form words. He muttered something about stupid specialists but I tuned it out. He sent a nurse in and she instructed me to go pee in a cup. She also drew some blood. I was on autopilot. I did as I was told and waited around for someone to tell me something that would make the world spin on its normal axis again.

_What's going on? Why haven't you called yet? Did you skip your appointment?_ Randy sent me a text, panicking, and I was panicking so much myself that I couldn't even be upset with his over-reaction.

_Still here. Running tests. Call you ASAP. love you_

_What's wrong? You've been there a long time. Do I need to come?_

Before I could respond, the doctor came back in. He looked... blank. His normally kind eyes were just blank. "Doc?"

"You're pregnant Angel." I just stared at him for a minute, letting the words sink in.

"Pregnant?" Apparently, even after the words sank in, I was still unable to form whole sentences.

"Normally I would think this was good news. I can't imagine two better parents than you and Randy, but...."

"But I'm dying."

"Your heart is weak. You know I don't like to say you're dying. You need a new heart. I'm not sure yours can handle your body and a baby's. I don't know how you feel about—"

"I won't kill my baby just because you _think_ I may not survive it. I won't kill part of Randy. We'll get through it, like we always do. Is that all that's making me sick?"

"Most likely. I have a prescription for some prenatal vitamins. They'll help with the tiredness, but you need to stay calm as much as you can. Any extra stress will be especially bad now. Do you understand?" I nodded. He told me to make an appointment with my OBGYN, and handed me a ton of papers with information. He hugged me slightly and warned me once again how dangerous it was. He told me to think about it, and I thanked him before heading to the elevator.

My OBGYN was in the same building, so I took the elevator to the 6th floor to make an appointment. There was a line at the desk, and by the time I got to the front, Dr. Carlson had already called them. They actually squeezed me in right away. Great. Not the way I expected things to go, and I hadn't even gotten to talk to Randy yet. Fuck.

"Hey Angel. How are you?" Dr. Wright didn't look too much older than me, and she insisted that I call her by her first name.

"Hey Robynn. I'm... okay. I guess Doc called you?"

"Yes he did. You understand this is risky, right? Have you spoken to Randy?"

"Not yet." I sighed, unsure how he would react.

"Well, let's do an ultrasound to see what we can see, okay?" She pulled my gown up and squirted the cold gel on my stomach. I couldn't see anything because she didn't use a huge machine. She said I wasn't far enough along to see anything yet, but we heard the heartbeat. God it was fast! Randy would completely _flip_ over this. She told me a bunch of stuff that I tuned out, thinking of Randy's reaction. She handed me more information, which I crammed into my giant bag with the stuff from Dr. Carlson. I set up another appointment and left.

Randy had sent me several texts and I could tell he was about to go crazy. I decided to just go to his office, even though I normally didn't go there dressed so casually. I mean, I didn't look awful, but jeans and a sweater was hardly fancy attire.

"Oh, hey Angel! You look great hun." Ran's secretary Rose greeted me with a grandmotherly smile. "Is he expecting you?"

"No, it's kind of a surprise. Can I go in?" I smiled sweetly despite the wave of nausea. She called him through the intercom and told him his next meeting was here. He didn't even seem fazed and mumbled something that must have been an indication for her to send the person in. She smiled and nodded toward the door. I smiled back at her and quietly went into his office. He was looking down at something on his desk, and didn't look up right away.

"Come on in Paul." He said, still staring intently at his papers. "You're early. Tee time get moved up?"

"Not exactly." He jerked his head up when he heard my voice.

"Baby? What's wrong?"

"Umm... I just wanted to come surprise you. I know you were freaking out, so I thought I'd come see if you wanted to go to lunch or something." I knew he was booked solid all day.

"I can't baby. Come're." He pushed back from his desk and I walked around and sat in his lap. He kissed me sweetly on the lips, then moved to my neck slowly. I moaned as he licked and nibbled down my neck til he found my weakness. I gasped and gripped his shoulder as I moaned louder.

"Ran..." I barely managed a whisper. I certainly didn't want him to stop, but it _was_ his office and he _did_ have to work. He pulled back with a smirk.

"What'd the doctor say? Are you sick?"

"No. I'm not sick." From my tone of voice, he could tell there was something I was keeping from him. He raised an eyebrow at me, and thinking of telling him the truth suddenly freaked me out completely. I burst into tears and threw my arms around his neck, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

"Geezus! Angel? What's wrong? Baby?"

"Yes." That was all I could say. He reached over and pressed the intercom for his secretary.

"Yes Randy?" Rose never called him Mr. Orton. I guess that would have been weird, since she was literally old enough to be his grandmother.

"Rose, cancel the rest of my appointments okay. Reschedule everything. Make up some excuse. Tell them I'm sick. Whatever."

"Yes sir."

"Angel, talk to me. What's wrong? What'd the doctor say." He pried my fingers from behind his neck so he could pull me up to look at my face. I'm sure it looked awful. "Baby?"

"Yes. That's what's wrong."

"What? Come on Ang, you know I'm a guy, I'm stupid. What are you talking about?" I giggled at his self-deprecation, but he wasn't kidding.

"I'm pregnant." I blurted it out quickly. He froze for a moment, just staring at me as if he were looking for some other clue.

"Pregnant." He whispered finally. I giggled again, realizing he'd reacted exactly as I had. The giggle brought him out of it quickly. "Pregnant?" His eyes were lit up now and a smile was creeping across his face.

"Yes. We're pregnant." The smile on his face faded slowly as he processed what that meant. Reality dawned on him and the light in his eyes faded.

"Your heart."

"Dr. Carlson is concerned. I also went to see Robynn, and she's concerned too."

"D, you have to do what's best for you. Baby, we can adopt a baby or something, if you want a baby."

"I'm not opposed to adopting, but right now we don't have to worry about that. We're pregnant. We're having a baby. A baby that is half you, and half me. God, this kid is doomed! I mean, so much attitude crammed into one tiny person." He smiled and I kissed him.

"Yeah, well, I'm living proof that you can get away with anything if you're hot enough." He winked at me and leaned over to kiss my lips that were parted in laughter. "Well, my schedule is suddenly clear. Let's go get some lunch, then go home and practice making more babies." He winked and I rolled my eyes.

"I love you. So much. Thank you for not freaking out." I kissed him sweetly and he hugged me tightly.

"You're all that matters to me Ang. If you want to keep this baby, then that's what we'll do. And I'll do everything I can to make sure you're around to see our kid get married. And our grandkids. I love you so much baby. God, we're going to be parents. Fuck. I never thought I'd be happy to hear that." He crashed his lips onto mine and I gripped his hair in my fists. I parted my lips slightly and his tongue slid in. My head was swimming. I never got tired of his kisses. The heated interaction was interrupted by my stomach growling loudly. "I guess he's hungry." He chuckled and I scowled as I got up from his lap.

"What if it's a girl?"

"Then I'll love her nearly as much as I love you. God, wouldn't that just be a hoot, if we had a daughter. That's just karma. All the shit I did.... of course we'll have a girl." He chuckled as he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapt 18.

"What's wrong baby?"

"Nothing. Stupid hormones. I'm huge and ugly and you're going to stop loving me." That started the flood gates again. Ran just hugged me and rocked me back and forth gently.

"You are beautiful. And, in addition to being beautiful, you're pregnant with my child. You're glowing. I wouldn't have thought you could be more beautiful than the day you married me, but you prove me wrong every day. I will never stop loving you." He kissed my forehead gently and rested his head on the top of mine while I cried like an idiot.

When the tears stopped, I went to the bathroom to make myself presentable. I looked in the mirror and grimaced, but there was no escaping what was about to happen. The doorbell rang and I groaned. Fuck.

"Tell them I'm sick or something." I pleaded. I stuck my bottom lip out in a dramatic pout, but it didn't work.

"Nope. Come on." Ran grabbed my hand gently and led me down the stairs to the baby shower that I tried to avoid having.

The living room and entranceway were decorated with pastel pinks and purples. Streamers, balloons, bows, and every cheesy baby shower decoration ever made. I informed Mickie that if she tried to make me play a game, I would excuse myself and never come out again. I wasn't kidding and she didn't doubt me, so there were no games. Also, I told Randy if he tried to leave I'd guilt him for it forever. The hormones had made me very tearfully-inclined, and he couldn't handle the tears at all. So, it became a co-ed baby shower. With alcohol. The guys were all perfectly willing to let Mickie make them wear ridiculous hats, as long as she let them drink, so at least I had some entertainment. The food looked beautiful, like something from a magazine, but I couldn't eat any of it unless they wanted their beautiful party to be covered in vomit.

"You're so tiny Angel! God I hate you. I know I'm going to look like a house when I'm 6 months pregnant, but you... ugh. If you could just be a little bitchier it would make actually disliking you so much easier." I laughed at Mickie's dramatic antics. "Don't laugh. I'm serious. Well, not about hating you, but God you're so little anyway, I thought surely you'd get big and fat." She put her hands on my stomach and shook her head. I'd gotten used to people doing that, actually. I guess people just think it's okay to touch you, if you're pregnant.

"I've tried to tell her she's beautiful but what the hell do I know, right? I'm just the husband." Randy kissed the side of my face gently and I closed my eyes and smiled. "I love you so much Ang." He whispered and I felt the tears welling up. I wiped my cheek lightly as a single tear fell, blinking back the others before they could start the floods.

"I love you too. I'm sorry for being such a drama queen." I forced a smile and he laughed.

"Your fake smiles are getting worse."

"Smartass." I laughed too.

"Okay, let's open some presents!" Mickie grabbed Randy forcefully by the shoulder and jerked him toward the living room. He let go of my hand to keep from pulling me, and he shot her a murderous glare that she ignored.

"Mickie take your fucking hands off of me and don't you dare fucking touch her." Ran growled and she stopped short, completely shocked. I stepped closer to Randy and touched his arm gently.

"It's okay baby. She didn't mean anything. She's just excited. It's okay." I looked him in the eyes and he softened his expression. Mickie mumbled something about him being over-protective and I stifled a laugh when he glared at her again. He gently held my hand and we went to sit in the designated chairs to open presents.

"Geezus Christ look at all this shit!" The party had disbanded and the only people left were Mickie and Elaine. My parents had just hugged us once more and left, dreading the long drive back home.

"Babies need a lot of stuff. You know you'll have another party of some sort at work anyway, right?" Elaine was re-folding some of the tiny baby clothes and I narrowed my eyes in question. She laughed. "They'll throw some sort of party or shower or something. When the CEO has a baby, it's a big deal. Lauren, you look tired, we can deal with this mess if you need to lie down." Elaine looked concerned and I smiled weakly at her.

"Ang? baby? Angel? ANGEL?" I could hear Randy, but I suddenly felt light headed and he sounded like he was getting further away. Then the room went black.

I woke up in a hospital bed, instantly aware of where I was. Fuck. I blinked my eyes repeatedly to adjust to the bright lights, and finally I could look around without giving myself the strobe-light effect. "Ran?"

"Hey, you're awake." He looked tired. I stretched my fingers slightly toward him and he grabbed my hand. Then the realization that I was in a hospital hit me and I panicked. I jerked my hand to my stomach. "She's okay. Everything's okay." He barely got the words out without choking.

"What's wrong?" I whispered. He had tears rolling down his cheeks, which instantly made me start crying.

After a few minutes, a doctor came in to explain that my heart was failing. And not just in the sense that it had been failing since I was born, but in the sense that I wouldn't be able to leave the hospital unless either I got a new one or I went into a body bag. My name had been pushed up on the priority list for a new heart, but we all knew the chances. I didn't have any questions, so the doctor left. Randy and I just stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like forever.

"I'm sorry." I finally spoke, and that's all I could manage to get out.

"For what baby?"

"For dying."

"You're not dying. Though honestly, if you wanted to avoid the work baby shower, you could have done so with a little less dramatic an excuse." He forced a smile and I smiled at his effort.

"So I have to stay in here for a while."

"Yep. God I guess I have to call our parents. Fuck."

"Not today. I don't want to deal with them today. Let's just talk, just us." He leaned over and kissed my forehead, leaving his lips there longer than necessary. I felt a tear fall onto my cheek and it fell with mine down to the bed.

"I don't want to lose you. Please don't leave me." He was barely speaking above a whisper.

"I can't leave you baby. I know you don't have a fucking clue how to change a diaper." He laughed out loud and I giggled.

We talked about the stuff we got at the shower. We talked about the nursery and how he'd be able to paint it now that I wasn't going to be in the house. He'd been so freaked out about me breathing paint fumes. We talked about how he'd deal with his work schedule and who'd spend time with me so I wouldn't get bored. We talked about everything except our greatest fear—me leaving in a body bag.

I never feared dying until now. And it's not like I haven't been close before, because I have. But now, it's different. It's so different now. I don't want to leave my husband alone. I don't want our daughter to grow up without a mom. I want to watch her walk down the aisle, and I want to celebrate my 5oth wedding anniversary, and I want to get so much more time with Randy than I have any right to wish for. I'm not ready to leave him yet. Them. I'm not ready to leave them. My husband and my daughter.

"Angel? Ang! Wake up! Babe wake up!" Ran was nearly screaming in my ear and I scowled at him.

"God, do you know how hard it is for me to fall asleep in here? Why'd you wake me up?"

"Angel you need to wake up and listen to me." My eyes shot up to the stern voice that I knew belonged to my cardiologist. "We've found a heart for you. There's another hospital that's fighting for it, but you're first on the list. Are you ready?"

I couldn't respond. All I could do was hold my stomach and stare at him dumbly.

"Of course she's ready!" Randy yelled. "Ang, what's wrong? Did you hear him? A heart baby! They have a heart for you!"

"What about Charlie?" I whispered.

"Charlie?" The doctor looked confused.

"Our daughter." Randy answered him with obvious irritation in his voice.

"You'll have to be induced immediately Angel. Right now. You need to make the decision right now. We can't wait."

"What are her chances?"

"What?" Randy and the doctor both asked at the same time. Neither of them could understand my hesitation.

"What are the chances that my daughter will survive unharmed, if she's born today? It's too early."

"Angel are you insane? What the fuck are you talking about? You have to do this! If you don't there won't be another heart in time. You know this baby. Come on! What is going on?" Ran was crying and staring into my eyes. "Please baby. Please. She'll be fine. Please. I can't lose you. Please baby. Please don't leave me. You're getting weaker and weaker by the day. Please." He just kept begging me and the tears on his heartbroken face hurt me. But my daughter...

"Just tell me her chances of survival, if she's born today." I looked at the doctor and noticed another had come in the room.

"I'm the prenatal specialist on call. The chances of your daughter surviving if she's born today depend on a lot of things..."

"Doc, just give me a number."

"Given your medical history, and the size of the fetus at this time, we're looking at 50 to 60% chance of survival."

"Oh God."

"Angel! Don't be ridiculous! Sign the fucking paperwork! Doc, get her the goddamn form right fucking now!" Ran was screaming and people from the hallway were stopping to see what the commotion was.

"Mr. Orton..."

"No! You don't talk to me! You get the motherfucking form and a goddamn pen! Angel, I will never speak to you again if you don't sign this! I will never ever kiss you again. I will never ever ever forgive you!" He broke down crying and fell into the chair. It broke my heart to see him like that.

"Randy...."

"No! Don't speak to me. I didn't hear the pen scratch on the paper. Don't speak to me." He leaned forward and rested his head on the side of the bed. "Please baby. You're dying. Please. Please baby. Don't you love me? Don't you want to stay with me? Please."

"Randy, look at me." I wiped the tears from my cheek but they kept falling anyway. Randy lifted his head and looked into my eyes. "This is our daughter. Is it worth the risk to Charlie?"

"If you wait Angel, Charlie may or may not have a better chance, but she'll definitely have a more unhappy life. How can you want her to have no mother? I can't do it on my own. I can't be her only parent. The only good in me is you Angel. If you're gone, there will be nothing left of me for her. I'm not worth anything without you." I closed my eyes when his head dropped back down onto the bed. I took a deep breath before looking back to the two doctors in the doorway.

"What should I do?"

"We can't answer that for you Angel, but we have the best facility in the state here for premature babies...."

"And the cardiology team here is the best in the country. You won't get another heart. Sure, another heart will eventually come around, but you'll be gone by then. Angel, you know I don't sugar coat things, this is the last chance you have. This isn't something new. You knew this day was coming. I know you hoped it would come after your daughter was born, but it didn't. I have to tell them yes or no, within the half hour, or they'll give the heart to the other hospital."

"I promise we will do everything in our power to take care of your daughter."

I took a deep breath and nodded. A nurse came in with a clipboard of papers for me to sign and I could barely control my shaking hand enough to sign my name. I was crying and sobbing uncontrollably. Randy pulled the pen and clipboard from my hand to hand it back.

"Please don't be mad at me." He whispered in my ear.

"If I survive, and she doesn't I will never ever speak to you again. Never." I choked out between sobs. He touched my cheek and I jerked my face away from his hand. "Don't you touch me."

"I love you Angel. I'm sorry if that's too much for you, but I can't help it. I didn't force you to sign, but I would have if I could have thought of a way to do it. Thank you. And I'm sorry for upsetting you. I meant everything I said though Ang. I... Charlie deserves the best in life, and that means a dad that doesn't cringe at the sight of her, and a mom. She deserves a dad and a mom. Two parents. And that's what she's going to get. She's our daughter, Ang. Her parents are the two most stubborn people on the planet—you don't think she got a little bit of that stubbornness? She's going to be fine. Those fucking ridiculous numbers that that doctor just pulled out of her ass, ha! My daughter will definitely beat whatever _average_ numbers anyone throws at her. If it makes you feel better to hate me right now, then so be it. But I love you Ang. And I won't stop touching you until they physically force me to leave you." He grabbed my hand and kissed it lightly.

"I'm sorry." The sobbing had stopped but the tears hadn't. Randy held my hand and a nurse came in and injected something into the fluid bag that was already connected to my body.

Then it was just a waiting game. Waiting for Charlie to come. Waiting for the heart to come. Waiting for the doctors to find a way to save me _and_ my daughter. Waiting. Praying. Hoping. Crying. Waiting.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapt 19.

I feel like crap. Worse. Like death. No, worse than that. I feel like I've already died. Ugh. Have you ever seen a whole chicken being cut up? I felt like that. Like my whole body was being cut up into smaller friable-sized pieces.

Randy more or less stayed in the hospital all the time now. He had to wear protective clothing and masks to see me or Charlie, but he didn't complain. He's the only man alive that can make paper gowns look hot. I can't see her. Charlie.

Charlotte Ripley Orton. Yes, I get it, it's a weird name, but seriously? Who would have ever thought that _I'd_ have a baby? It's pretty unbelievable. Anyway, we call her Charlie, like Charlie Brown. Although, Randy hates that analogy because, and I quote, 'Charlie Brown is a pathetic loser and my daughter will never fit that category.' Ran's shown me pictures of her, of course, but in the pictures she just looks like a tiny knotted blanket with some hair. She has strawberry blonde hair, and we have no idea where it came from. But Ran says she has my nose, although at this point in time how can he even tell? She's so tiny. She's doing well though, apparently, relatively speaking. She's hooked up to so many machines, but she's strong. Stubborn, like Ran said she would be. He's so fucking smug about it too.

"How are you feeling baby?" Randy had to try really hard to look upbeat when he looked at me. While Charlie is doing great for her condition, I am not. It breaks my very newly-acquired heart to know what's coming and just pretend like everything's okay.

"I'm feeling better today. Not quite so tired. But I still feel like my chest was ripped open with a plastic doctor kit."

The thing is, the new heart is completely amazing and perfect. Apparently, it came from some other young person with weird blood, who happened to like motorcycles. I mean, I appreciate the gift, but what a waste. And, even worse, is that it really is a waste. I mean, I just don't expect to ever leave this hospital. Randy is adamant about it. He says it over and over. But it's been two weeks, and I'm not getting any stronger. The general consensus with my doctors is that my body was so far deteriorated already that it may be too late. Of course, Randy had a complete Incredible Hulk-sized fit when they said that. He had to be restrained by Bob and Ted, who happened to be visiting at the time. Mickie broke down crying, which sent Randy into another fit.

Charlie gets stronger and stronger every day, and it won't be long before she comes off the breathing machines I think. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get to see her. I try not to cry, but I can't help it. I want to hold her. My daughter. Randy can't hold her either yet, but he can touch her through the little holes in the side of her little baby incubator thing.

"Angel? Please be strong baby. Please don't leave me. God. I can't... I... she... baby, I can't do it without you. Charlie looks at me and all I can see is you. Please. Fuck those doctors. Please. Just.... stay." Ran's words made me cry more, but I didn't have the energy to sob or bawl. It was just a steady stream of tears.

"I love you." I had a million other words in my head, but I couldn't verbalize them. All I could do was let the tears roll down my now sunken-in cheeks.

* * *

It's been 8 weeks since the whole ordeal came to a head. Charlie's doing great. I got to see her yesterday for the first time. They moved me to an actual normal room, but who knows how long it'll be before they let me go home. I almost think I may actually get to go home, but of course I try not to get my hopes up. Seeing Charlie though... God she's beautiful. I mean, I don't like babies, like at all, but she's amazing. She scrunches up her little nose and I swear to God she looks just like Randy. She has his eyes, thank the Lord. Most of her hair fell out, which apparently is normal, but she's still adorable. My daughter is the most beautiful thing on this planet. Randy beams like an idiot. I love it. He's looking pretty rough though, to be honest. I mean, I'd still do him, of course, but he just looks so.... tired. Broken, almost. But he's trying sooo hard to be positive.

"So Brock said the Tokyo office is having a fit because the numbers are lower than expected, and I just have to fake a yawn to keep from rolling my eyes at him. He's such an idiot sometimes...." Ran was rambling about the inner-workings of his job. He knew I didn't care, of course, but I need to hear his voice and he won't just read to me. He also won't have a normal conversation with me, mostly because I don't have enough strength to keep up my end of it. So, he just talks about stuff. Right now he's babbling about how Brock whined his way into a trip to Tokyo. Yesterday, he was talking about a baseball game.

"Hey, can we come in?" There was a light knock to go along with the whispers at the door. Ran and I both looked to the door.

"Mickie. Ted. It's not your day." I smiled.

"Yeah well....." Ted looked down at the floor and I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"What?" Ran said with more attitude than I thought was necessary. He had some... issues, with Mickie. He wouldn't admit it, but I suspected he blamed her for this whole mess. He just needed someone to blame, honestly. And he picked her because she pissed him off at the baby shower. In reality, he was probably only blaming himself.

"You haven't left the hospital in forever..." Ted was treading softly on his words and I felt Ran tense next to me.

"Yeah and? In case you didn't fucking notice _Ted_ my wife and daughter are here. Where the fuck else do you think I should be?"

"Baby...."

"Sorry Ang. But I swear, I'm so fucking tired of people telling me I need to get out. God, what the hell Ted?"

"Look, I brought you some brownies anyway Ang. I asked the nurse if it was okay and she said it was, although I'm not exactly sure she even bothered to check. I know we're not supposed to come today, but I just... missed you." Mickie stepped closer and leaned over to give me a pseudo-hug. I say pseudo-hug, because the second she got close to me Ran stood up and hovered. Mickie's taken to ignoring him mostly. He looks at her with total contempt, and she doesn't look at him at all.

"Thanks. You have no idea how shitty the food is in here. I'd pretty much kill for a steak." I laughed and then sucked in a hard breath of air through my teeth. Ouch.

"Angel?" Ran panicking was a pretty common thing.

"It's okay, just pulled a little. It's okay. Calm down. Charlie's getting up soon right? Go so you can feed her. I'm okay." He hesitated but left anyway, after gently kissing my forehead. As soon as he left I looked at Ted. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. We just... well... we're worried about him. About all of you, of course, but...."

"So am I. But it's better not to push him. He won't leave. He works from the waiting room when I'm sleeping, unless he's with Charlie. He rarely sleeps. That's why he looks like hell. But it'll be better soon. Sorta." I looked away as a tear escaped and they didn't respond. After a while, we just started talking about random nonsense and people we knew. They kept me up to date on the gossip and made me forget, temporarily, the reality of my life. When Randy came back, Mickie and Ted left. And I fell asleep listening to Randy read emails out loud.

I've now seen Charlie for a grand total of six times in her 12 weeks outside of my abdomen. She really is beautiful. Not alien-like at all, unlike all the babies on TV. I mean, sure babies get kinda cute after they can hold their heads up on their own and all that, but anything that you have to hold a certain way to keep the head from falling off—creepy. Not Charlie though, she's perfect. She's going to be completely gorgeous too. I feel bad for Randy. He's going to have to fight off so many boyfriends. I also feel sorry for Charlie because I know he's going to be completely over-protective of her.

The reality of my demise is starting to set in. With everyone. Randy's taking pills to keep from falling to shit. He doesn't leave me alone anymore except to go feed Charlie. I take that time to write. I also write when he falls asleep. I know he knows I'm writing, but he doesn't ask about it. Mostly, we just look at each other.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this." I whispered. That's all I can do now. Whisper.

"What do ya mean?"

"You were supposed to be a dickhead playboy. I was supposed to fall in love with your pool and you were supposed to keep shagging the whores. This... I just love you so much. Sometimes it feels like hate, actually."

"You hate me?" The only increase in his emotional state was the elevation of one of his eyebrows. Obviously, he doesn't believe that I hate him. Thank God.

"Sometimes. I hate that I beg for God to let me live. I never cared before you. I'd accepted it. You know that. Living just for today because my chances of a tomorrow were so much less than even a normal person, and they don't have a guarantee either. Now, I just... I need to stay."

"I need you to stay too. Please don't leave me. God, I can't do this. Baby, I can't—"

"You have to. You have to do it. You have to love me while I'm here, and then... let me go."

"Shut up!" Emotion. Fuck.

"No. Listen to me. It's... important. Please listen baby."

"No. I'm not going to listen to you give up Ang. Fuck that."

"I'm not giving up. It's a contingency plan." His lower lip was quivering and his eyes were full of tears waiting to fall. "Randy, I love you. I will love you for the rest of my life, however long that is. But... if.... when... baby, she's our daughter. She's the product of you and I being in love, despite everything that should have kept us apart. And I need.... I.... I need you to take care of her. Be her dad. Don't.... I mean... you know it's not her fault. She's a miracle Randy. She's not the reason for this. You know that, right?"

"I love her Ang. I do. Of course I love my daughter. Our daughter. I just.... You're the only one that's ever seen good in me Angel. Everything... all.... I... ugh.... how do I do it without you? How do I go to work and do my job and come home and take care of her, without you? You know you're the reason there is anything good in my life, right? Your stubborn refusal to let me be an idiot... that's all that's .... I.... please stay. Please. Please baby."

"I'm so tired. I just..... need to sleep. Just for a little while. Can you go check on Charlie? I think I may get to hold her soon. I mean, I know you're her favorite right now, that's about to change buddy." I tried to smile, to make him smile, and he actually forced a fake one for me. It was such a terrible effort that it made me giggle. The giggle made him smile a genuine smile, which actually just broke my heart even more. I seem to cry nonstop now. I used to be so strong, mentally anyway. And emotionally. Now though, I just cry... all the time. Because I can't think of this life, this wonderfully blissful life, changing. Ending. Randy, Charlie, and I— just.... ending. It tears me apart and I can't even pretend to be okay anymore.

"I love you Ang. I'm going to go back to telling our daughter alllll about you." He smirked and I giggled.

"I'm not sure it's appropriate to tell your infant daughter about having sex in the pool." I winked and he laughed lightly.

"You're terrible. I love you." He leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips, but I reached up to run my hands through his shaggy hair, holding his lips to mine. We hadn't really kissed in a long time and it felt great and I didn't want him to go. But I was tired. Soooo tired. I let him go and he nibbled my bottom lip lightly before kissing my cheek and my neck. Then he went to go feed Charlie.

I watched him leave, painting the smile on my face in case he looked back. He didn't. As soon as I couldn't see him anymore, the tears came like a flood again. I pulled out the notepad and pen and wrote until my eyes were barely open. It didn't take long. I finished the letter I was writing and put the notepad on the tray. _I love you forever Randy._ Then I fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapt 20. The End. Randy's Point of View.

"Your mom is the most beautiful woman that has ever lived. She's resting upstairs right now, but I think she's coming down to see you tomorrow. Hopefully she can hold you. She talks about you in her sleep. She loves you so much Charlie. I don't know what I did to get so lucky, but I sure as hell don't deserve either of you. Crap. Let's not tell Mommy that I just cursed. She'll kick my ass. Oops. Let's leave that one out too. You need to rest and I need to go see grampa and mommy. I love you my little miracle Charlie." I kissed her tiny little head gently as the nurse took her from my arms. She'd fallen asleep, my daughter fell asleep in my arms. I'm awed by that. My daughter. She blows my mind, already. Geezus, when she's able to talk... wow. She looks so much like me. I wish she looked like Angel. Poor kid.

I got up and stretched. The nurse that had put Charlie back in her little baby oven-looking thing smiled at me and I nodded in her direction as I walked out the door. I took the elevator back up to the 8th floor, too tired to take the stairs. I put my hand against my stomach as I rode up the three flights. God I'm getting pudgy. As soon as the elevator doors opened, I took a deep breath and stepped out, then..... panic.

The intercom system had a strange alarm and suddenly doctors and nurses were rushing past me. I completely lost it. It took me a full 4 seconds to realize what was happening, and I ran down the hall.

"Angel! Baby? Ang?" My dad grabbed me at the door and held me as I watched them. They looked like they were moving in slow motion, but it was so loud. Alarms were going off. That flat green line that you see on TV looks entirely different in real life, when it's telling you that your wife is dead. I struggled against my dad but he just held on. "Let me fucking go! Angel! No! No don't you stop! Bring her back! ANGEL!" The slow motion suddenly wasn't slow. It was fast forwarding. They were suddenly rushing out. Out of her room.

"I'm sorry Randy." The doctor put his hand on my shoulder, and it was heavy. Too heavy. My dad was holding me up, otherwise I would have fallen to the floor. She looked like she was sleeping. Just... she told me she was tired. I left her alone. Oh God. My wife died alone. My wife died. I'm 22 goddamn years old, and in an instant I'm a fucking single dad and a widower. God.

* * *

"Son?" My dad put his hand on mine in the car. I took a breath. I'm on so many fucking pills right now I can barely keep my eyes open. What's the fucking point anyway? She's gone. In case the 8 zanax I've taken in the last 3 hours had a chance of making me forget, the rain at the cemetery certainly reminded me. She's dead. My wife, the love of my life, my everything... is dead. She's in a box. In the ground. I have no idea who came to the funeral. I have no idea what anyone said. I guess people spoke to me, but I honestly have no memory of it. She's dead. That's all that matters. And now I get to go back to the hospital and look at my daughter, who will never have any concept of her mother.

"Randy? Hunnie?" My mom this time. I can't look at her. Angel's parents are in the car behind us. I can't look at them. They disgust me. They've been waiting for her to die all along. Like they're in a fucking rush or something. Now they get to go about their lives like she hoped they would.

"Ran..."

"Shut up! Just shut up! God! Just...." I suddenly lost all the steam that caused me to yell at my parents, and the rest came out as a whisper. "Just leave me alone. I don't know what you want me to say, but just pretend I've said it. Just stop talking to me please."

The car took us back to our house. Our house. God I hate it here. Everything about here is her. I can't look at the stairs without picturing coming home from our honeymoon. Her laugh echoes through the whole place. There isn't anything about this place that doesn't remind me of her. People are gathering here, to pay their respect and all that. What the fuck ever.

"Mom, I can't deal with this. I just.... I can't be here. I'm going to be with Charlie. She doesn't even know what she's lost. What we lost."

"Son...."

"Mother, please. Please. This one time, can you just not question me? Please? Can you just go back down there and do what you do, and let me leave and go mourn the death of my wife, with our daughter. Please?"

"Be careful. Do you need your dad to drive you? Let him drive you Randy, you don't need to drive. God son, how many pills have you taken today?"

"16." I answered numbly. She didn't look surprised at all, but I didn't wait around for her to process it either. I didn't wait around for anything. I just left. I went back to the hospital to sit and stare at Charlie. The only reason I'm alive at all. The only part of Angel that's left.

"We're so sorry for your loss Randy." The nurses that took care of Charlie loved me. Angel was amused by that. She said everyone instantly adored me. She didn't though. God, I've never worked so hard for a girl in my life. And I've never met anyone more worth it. My dad wanted this. This is what he wanted all along, for me to learn responsibility but not have to worry about being stuck in a long marriage. Well I hope he's fucking happy now. That's not really fair though, I guess. Ang said I instantly charmed everyone, but the truth is _she's_ the one that was instantly adored by everyone that ever met her. Well, except Ash, of course, but who fucking cares about her. And Maryse. And Alicia. Okay, so, she did tend to piss off whores that wanted to sleep with me. I sighed. It doesn't matter anymore.

"Randy? Did you want to hold her?" Bonnie was as old as my mom and she had those kind of mom eyes, ya know. I know she was talking about Charlie, but she isn't the one who popped into my head. _Yes I want to hold her. Yes I want to hold Angel and never let her go._

"No let her sleep." I sat next to her little clear plastic bed and stared at her face. I know I said she looked like me, but now, all I can see is Angel. My beautiful perfect obnoxious Angel. "Charlie, baby, Daddy's here. I'm here. We had to send Mommy to heaven today. She's watching us now from up there, so I guess we have to be on our best behavior." What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Ang was right, I don't have the foggiest idea how to change a diaper. Why the fuck would I have ever learned that little talent? Fuck.

Charlie cried today. Angel's been gone for 18 days. The nurses have been great, showing me how to do all the stuff I'll have to do at home. Charlie has to have a special light because she was turning yellow. Liver issues, they said. Whatever. Just add it to the list of things that suck about the past few months. Mom offered to let us move back in with them, but I can't.... leave her. Angel. She's in every part of that house. I can't leave her. It. The house. Whatever. So instead, Mom and Dad are coming to stay with us for a while. Tomorrow. When I take Charlie home for the first time. I installed the car seat yesterday. Mom assured me the nursery is ready. I just took her word for it.

The house is suffocating. The air is heavy, and the pressure feels like a weight that my body can't hold up. But it's just air. I haven't been in here in a long time. In her closet. I can smell her. I nearly collapsed. But I rushed out and quickly closed the door behind me, trying to keep her scent in. My own little piece of Angel heaven. God I'm pathetic.

* * *

"Daddy?"

"Yes Charlie?" I looked up from the newspaper to see Charlie staring at me. She's five now, going on 30. She knows everything, just ask her. Right now, she has a very familiar, very frightening look on her face. She's up to something. It's a devious smile that she absolutely got from her mother.

"It's very pretty outside." She had her fingers twisted in her curls, twirling back and forth around the kitchen table.

"Is it?" I raised an eyebrow at her and she giggled. In case I ever forgot anything about my wife, her daughter reminds me every day. But only the best parts. Well, okay, she also has her temper and attitude. And, thank God, her beauty.

"Can we go swim in mommy's pool?" Charlie, like Angel, is a master manipulator. She knows I can't deny her anything that lets her feel her mommy.

"Have you been good?" She was nodding her head like a bobble-head on a rollercoaster before I even got the question out, and I quirked an eyebrow. I swear to God, she rolled her little blue eyes and sighed.

"He deserved it Daddy! He pulled my hair!" She stamped her foot for good measure and I had to press my tongue to the roof of my mouth to keep from laughing. She'd been sent home from preschool with a behavior report that said she pushed another child. To me, that sounded petty, so I asked the teacher about it. Apparently, Justin Gabriel pulled her hair and told her she was stupid, and she defended herself by pushing him… off the top of the monkey bars. Thankfully he wasn't hurt, and I know I should punish her, but.... I imagine what Angel would think in situations like these. Actually, I'm never sure at all what the hell to do, so I 'consult' my wife. I sit in a chair in her closet and think, remember, cry. I miss her. It's been a long time, but I don't miss her any less. But I only cry in there. Nowhere else. Well, when I go to the grave, I cry there too, if Charlie isn't there. Charlie goes every week to take her mommy new flowers. I know she doesn't remember her, but I'm doing my best to share my memories.

"Charlotte..." I used her full name for effect, and I wasn't disappointed. She cocked her hip, crossed her arms, scowled, and tapped her tiny foot. Classic Angel.

"Dad..."

"Charlie, it's not okay to push people off of things like monkey bars. I know we've had this discussion, but I'm not sure you're listening."

"Daddy, I know I shouldn't have pushed Justin off the monkey bars, but.... well..."

"Well what?"

"He wouldn't move! He was just sitting there Daddy! And we wanted to play and he wouldn't move even when I asked him nicely. I really did try to be nice like you said mommy likes me to be nice, but he was a jerkhead and then he pulled my hair. It was shelf offends Daddy!" She stamped her foot again and I couldn't quite contain the laugh. I coughed to cover the slip.

"That's self defense baby. And I forgive you, but just like mommy wants you to be nice and sweet to everyone, what does Daddy say?"

"Don't get caught." She laughed and ran upstairs.

"Charlie do not make a mess with your clothes!" I called up to her as I went to answer the doorbell. "Hey guys. Come on in. You just missed a delightful conversation with the Princess."

"What now?" Trey was so completely enamored with Charlie that it made me laugh. She had him wrapped around her finger, worse than me even. Yeah, in case there was any question, she is just like both her parents. No one is immune to her. Ted's just a softee. Mickie's 7 months pregnant now, and freaking huge, and when she pops that kid out he's just going to be completely gaga.

"Sweetheart, I left the bag in the trunk. Do you mind?" Mickie smiled at him and he trotted off like a trained dog. I'd make fun of how whipped he was, if he was even half as whipped as I was by a 5 year old mini-Angel. I helped Mickie sit on the couch as Ted came in with a small plastic bag. "Thank you baby." He kissed her head and went to the kitchen. They pretty much do whatever the hell they want here. Whatever.

"What's Miss Thing been conning you into?" Mickie and I are friends, and we talk about things we have in common—mainly, Charlie or Ted. But it's hard for me. She was Angel's best friend. She threw that fucking shower, and while I know logically it isn't her fault the way it all happened, part of me can't stop blaming her.

"She got in trouble at school yesterday. Justin was being a shit again, and she pushed him off the monkey bars..."

"Oh shit."

"Well he deserved it, but you know Ang would have a fit if I didn't get onto her about it. I mean, you know she'd have done at least as bad, but I just know she'd want Charlie to be better than her. Not that there's any such thing...."

"Charlie pushed that little shit off the top huh? Good for her. That kid is annoying as hell." Ted worked with Justin's dad, so he might have been slightly biased.

"Yeah well if she does it again I have to go have a parent-teacher meeting. Like I can even deal with that shit right now."

"Uncle Ted!" We all turned to see Charlie bounding over to Ted, wrapping his legs in a mini-bear hug. He picked her up and she laughed. Then she saw Mickie and jumped down to hug her.

"Careful Char..... Aunt Mickie's... umm..."

"Fat?" She finished my sentence with a sweetness that only a child could muster. Ted coughed to hide the laughter and I choked my own chuckle down. Mickie glared at both of us.

"Umm, no baby, she's not fat. Let's go outside before daddy and Uncle Ted get castr--"

"Randy!"

"Castigated." I corrected myself quickly. Ted's whole body was rocking with laughter. He helped Mickie stand up and we went outside. Mickie sat on a chair in the shade while Ted got in the pool with Charlie. I went to change, but I glanced back at the scene and for a moment I saw.... something different. I saw Angel, pregnant with another baby, while me and Charlie swam in the pool. I saw a whole life that I couldn't ever have. I saw the life I always pictured. Then Mickie yelled at Ted, and reality came crashing back. I love you forever Angel.

* * *

AN: I'm sorry for all of you that wanted Angel to live. She was dead at the end of the last chapter, you just didn't know it. This chapter was hard for me to write, and I pretty much cried the whole time. There's an epilogue coming tomorrow.


	21. Epliogue

Epilogue. Letters written by Angel in the hospital.

_Randy. _

_I've thought of doing this for a few days, and I've mentally written this several times. I never know how to start. "Dear Randy" sounds stupid, but there really isn't a protocol for writing a letter to your husband for him to read after you die. _

_I know you'll think it was a mistake. You'll think it was your fault. But it wasn't. All along baby, this is what was meant to happen. I've always known I was meant to die just like this. In a poorly-decorated hospital room. I kinda feel guilty that this heart got wasted on me, to be honest._

_I love you. That makes this hard. I just honestly completely love you. For someone with a fucked up heart, I really managed to get hooked on you. I love our life. I love our bed. I love having sex with you. I love our house. I love love love our pool. _

_You were supposed to be a fun toy. That's all. You were just supposed to be some hot boy that needed to be taught a lesson or something. I never thought you'd give up the whores. I never thought I'd care. But it just seemed from the start that you were all I wanted. _

_Randy, you gave me more life in the 2 years we had together, than the 19 years I had without you. I don't deserve to be here like this. I never did anything good enough to deserve to have you sleeping in the chair next to me. _

_I never thought of this heart thing as some kind of unfairness. I mean, not til I had you. I don't want to die. I want to stay. Please never think I didn't want to stay with you. More than anything, I want to stay with you and Charlie. But apparently, that's not how it's meant to be. _

_I love you._

_Now, the instructions. I need you to live Ran. You have to mourn this and then move on. I'm not giving you a timeline or anything, but don't just shut down. You have to keep working and smiling and swimming and grilling and laughing. You have to keep loving Charlie. _

_I have a letter for Charlie too. I don't know when you should give it to her. God I don't want to leave her. My daughter. She's going to be a hard-headed pain in your ass Ran, and that's probably some kind of payback for all the shit you did as a kid. Don't hold on to her too tight. I know you'll think of her as your last connection to me or whatever, but the harder you hold her the more she'll fight you. And she's my daughter, so she'll be able to out-stubborn you. _

_I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you. I'm afraid now. I just love you so much, and I'm afraid of letting it go. I can't let you go. I'm so weak now. It's taken me nearly 2 weeks to write all this. I love you. Please make sure Charlie knows that I love her. Please don't think this is your fault. Or hers. It isn't anyone's fault. No one did anything wrong. Even Mickie. I had a limited time here, and now my time is up._

_I feel it. The end. I'm just so tired. Randy, you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. You're the best part of every day I've ever had. You're the reason I've fought to stay here this long. You're everything I've ever wanted. I don't deserve you. I never did. But I've loved you from the beginning. From before I knew what love was. And I'll love you to the end. To the end of time, the end of me, til I see you again in heaven or wherever is after this. _

_I love you._

_Thank you for loving me. Thank you for letting me love you. Even though you couldn't really keep me from doing whatever I want anyway. Til the end of forever, I love you._

_Love,_

_Your Wife_

_Angel_

* * *

_My beautiful daughter Charlie._

_I never imagined myself as a mother. I wasn't supposed to live long enough for it to even be a possibility, but your dad filled my existence with miracles every day. And he gave me you. And I love you so much!_

_I'm so sorry that you have this paper instead of a real mom. Never doubt how much I love you though. Since I found out about you, I've dreamed, literally, of being your mom. Now, those dreams are the best I ever hope to have. _

_This is hard. So hard. I know you're beautiful. I saw you today, for the first time, and to be honest you look kind of like a tiny doll right now. But I know by the time you read this, you'll look like a beautiful little model. I hope you look like your dad. I doubt you'll want to hear this, but he's so completely gorgeous he takes me breath away. I know you'll be the same way._

_Now, the really hard part. Normally, a mom spends her life trying to teach her daughter how to grow into a beautiful woman. Or whatever. But I'm missing all of that. I don't want to die, in case that wasn't clear. I love you so much Charlie. I wanted to see you start kindergarten. I wanted to embarrass you in front of your first boyfriend, and take a hundred pictures of you when you went to your prom. I wanted to give you a baby brother to torture you and sell your underwear to his little friends. Okay, so I just watched Sixteen Candles, but still. I wanted to watch you get married to the man (or woman, if that's what you're into) that takes your breath away like your dad takes mine. I hope, above all else, that you find someone to love like I love your dad. I'm so sorry I'll miss all of that._

_Okay, so your dad. Randy is stubborn and opinionated, and I'm sure you noticed that already. But I know he loves you. And, that may start to feel slightly less amazing than it sounds on paper, especially when you're a teenager. Stand your ground, but don't be petulant. He's your father, and like it or not, you need to listen to him. I've asked him not to be completely overbearing, but I know he will be anyway. I love you Charlie. When I'm gone, you'll be all he has. Please try to cut him some slack. He'll expect a lot from you, but I know you can handle him._

_I love swimming. I hope you do too. But whatever it is you get involved in, please don't shut your father out. Even when you go through your rebellious teenager phase, don't shut him out. He'll act like a hardass, like he's strong and capable and completely fine, but he won't be. _

_Randy and I weren't supposed to fall in love. We weren't supposed to be happily ever after. But I guess, in a way, we sorta said 'screw you' to whoever decides all of that. And in return, whoever decides all of that said 'yeah well screw you too' when they ended us so early. I don't know if your dad will move on. I doubt I would have, but he's not me. If he does decide to move on and get married again, please don't be terrible to her. You deserve a mom Charlie. I'm soooooo sorry I can't be the mom you deserve. _

_I'm so proud of you. I know it may sound trite and contrived, but it's true. I've dreamed so many wonderful possibilities for you, and if even one of them comes true then I know you'll be okay. Never do anything you're not proud of yourself. Live every day like it's your last, but don't be reckless with the time you have. Kiss your dad every day, and tell him you love him even if you're mad at him. He can be ridiculously stubborn and hard-headed. Make good choices. Don't feel like you have to fill a position—you don't have to be a leader, or a follower. It's totally okay to just be. Don't do anything half-ass. Question everything. Be smart. Never pretend to be less than what you are to impress someone else. Never act superior—anyone that is superior doesn't need to act it. _

_Typically, the nerds are made fun of in high school and then they end up running the world, but there are exceptions to every rule. For instance, your dad is literally a genius. He would have been classified as a nerd in high school, except that he was a model. He may try to hide that from you, but he did in fact do some modeling in high school. I'm sure if you look really hard, you can find the ads somewhere—Abercrombie and GAP. Don't judge a book by its cover Charlie, and don't tolerate anyone that does it to you. I know you'll be beautiful, and it will be easy for people to assume you're all looks and no brains. Don't let anyone treat you like a Barbie doll. But, then again, there's no rule that says you can't let someone think you're stupid if it's in your best interest, as long as you don't actually act stupid. _

_Never use anyone. Don't be a slut. I'm not making any judgments on you sleeping with someone, but don't do it because you think that's the only reason someone will stay with you. I know you'll know better, but I also know that sometimes it's hard to be secure in yourself when the world around you is telling you that something about you isn't good enough._

_You are good enough._

_I'm sorry I have to miss you growing up. I'm so sorry. I love you so much Charlie. I hope you never ever question that. And, in case someone is an idiot, let me make this very clear. You are NOT in any way responsible for my heart failing. I've been dying since I was born. And my time is now up. It's not your fault. I couldn't stand leaving Ran alone, but I'm not—I'm leaving him with you. Please take care of him. And let him take care of you. You two are the most important beings in my world. Take care of each other. _

_It's taken me a long time to write this letter Charlotte Ripley Orton. I wish I could give you more than this. But I'm tired now. I don't know how much longer I have, so I'm going to use the rest of my time dreaming of you and your dad. I love you more than I have any right to. I love you forever. I love you I love you I love you._

_Hugs and kisses…._

_Mommy._


End file.
